QuoteLog

“No one expected the democratization of media to be pretty, but the attendant lens abuse is enough to break this cinematographer’s heart.”

“Only in the Mac community can the justifications for and against a given position flip-flop overnight with such fervor.”

“The distractions of constant emails, text and phone messages are a greater threat to IQ and concentration than taking cannabis, according to a survey of befuddled volunteers.”

“The IIS/ASP world is run by an Old Testament God. Trouble and mercy take on whole new meanings there.”

“Put another way, it’s a safe bet to say that soon, we’ll be able to generate PDFs from Flash movies with a ColdFusion backend that plays back video edited in Premiere wrapped in an interface laid out in Dreamweaver, designed in Fireworks and colored in Illustrator. All within a single company’s product lineup. Get ready for a productivity suite that leaves you winded, for sure.”

“The dinky Mac is way cool.”

“I spend most of my time pressing the buttons in front of the big glowing thing. Occasionally, gunfire is heard.”

“Content management isn’t a software problem at all. It’s a process problem. By solving process problems, you often find you don’t even need software. Many companies buy software thinking that it will fix their process problems. But that’s like buying Microsoft Word hoping that it will make you a better writer.”

“If you don’t see an American flag behind the links, then you are using an Al-Qaeda Browser!”

“It might be possible to persuade Microsoft tools to produce valid HTML, but judging by what mostly comes out of them, they must think of HTML as a hot dog factory, where nobody in their right mind would ever look inside.”

“If you don’t read the instruction manual on your new pro camera and ask a stupid basic question in front of the world, you deserve to get ridiculed. Yes, you do. Take it like a man.”

“For a Tweak-addict, defeat is extremely hard to admit. Although, a 12-step program for tweakers, assuming one exists, would probably say that indeed, defeat is what we had been attempting to accomplish all along.”

“The amount of time the entire human population spends sitting in front of Windows boxes waiting for them to be ready to work is probably in aggregate worth the GDP of a medium-sized country.”

“I once met a chemist who told me that when he looked at a tree, he didn’t see brown and green, he saw the molecules that made up the bark and the leaves. Me, I used Photoshop every day for a year, and after a few months I saw the world in digital layers, ready to be peeled and blended. I looked out the car window and rearranged what I saw to make it more pleasing, moving the street signs and rearranging buildings. Everything was mutable: eye color, hair color, skin tone. In dreams, I would sometimes grab large chunks of my environment and move them around, cutting and pasting as if I had some sort of cosmic mouse.”

“i may be missing the unix geekness and graphic beauty of os x, but xp is enhancing my production output in myriad ways ... where my profit bottom line resides. i am convinced i made the right, if unfashionable, choice. it’s been a calm year of xp ownership, compared to the os x stories i read on others’ pages.”

“Any new technology tends to go through a 25-year adoption cycle. I look at what happened from 1975 to 1985, the first 10 years of the PC adoption cycle. There was huge over-investment in the early 1980s. In the late ’80s there was a huge crash, and the real build-out was from 1990 to 2000. With the Internet, we’re really 10 years into what will ultimately look like a 25-year cycle from invention to full implementation.”

“Why didn’t you purchase the extended warranty?” you ask. “Because I don’t think I should have to pay an additional $400 to ensure that my $3000 computer isn’t a complete piece of shit.” I answer. But apparently, I need to “Think different.”

“I’m surprised more novice web designers don’t put their fist through the computer screen, especially since monitor prices have come down so much lately.”

“Remember when your mom insisted that you take typing in high school, and you didn’t listen, and took Shop instead? How often do you build benches these days, huh, wise guy?”

“The IBM PC was created by people who drank alcohol. The Mac was created by people who smoked pot.”

“A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy.”

“I believe something is broken. Since it has taken a long time to fix, the brokenness must be difficult to replicate, leading to the dance of the finger pointing sales reps, followed by the waltz of the few people who understand enough to fix it.”

“If usability engineers designed a nightclub, it would be clean, quiet, brightly lit, with lots of places to sit down, plenty of bartenders, menus written in 18-point sans-serif, and easy-to-find bathrooms. But nobody would be there. They would all be down the street at Coyote Ugly pouring beer on each other.”

“Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.”