QuoteLog

“Suicide attacks are carried out by you-know-who. This is Bin Ladens gift to his fellow Iraqi Muslims. Didn’t he say it himself a while ago? I demand that all Iraqi diplomatic relations with Saudi Arabia and Syria cease immediately. I demand that we expel all foreign Arabs from Iraq until further notice. A little firmness is necessary.”

“What we need is an implicit understanding that despite our disagreements we are on the same side. Because we are on the same side. Murderous fanatics are trying to kill us. Save the talk of ‘enemies’ and ‘evil’ for them.”

“When I try to explain to my husband that, in spite of everything he knows, or thinks he knows about organized religion, Catholics are really a swinging bunch, he gives me ‘the face’. It’s a face only a husband can make that perfectly communicates a mix of skepticism and dismissal.”

“There remain exponentially more questions than answers concerning Saddam Hussein’s relationship to al Qaeda. Among them, it is a mere matter of detail to know why a native Iraqi, thanks to a contact in the Iraqi embassy, was in a position to escort two September 11 hijackers to a critical planning meeting, or why he possessed contact information for Osama bin Laden’s ‘best friend.’ But the overarching fact -- that Saddam and al Qaeda had a relationship -- can no longer be seriously disputed.”

“Iraqi Police kick major ass. Much respect. Wherever you go now and open up that subject you will see a lot of sympathy with those brave men and women and a total incomprehension to what this so called resistance is doing. They are killing Iraqis now. They say Jihad against the Infidel Occupier and they go kill those Iraqi police men.”

“The press ranks just below trial lawyers, telemarketers, and the French as a favorite piñata for surly Americans.”

“Microsoft, having learned what it needed to know from playing in the public Web space, is now positioning itself to pick up all the e-commerce and go home.”

“Bush is the Devil himself, and you can’t beat a Shaitan. Saddam will magically appear in cuffs two months before the elections and American soldiers will be at their homes partying by New Year’s. The ground will start spitting up WMD’s and al-Qaeda links the moment he touches the ground with his nose, and he will be the next american president.”

“Light makes photography. Embrace light. Admire it. Love it. But above all, know light. Know it for all you are worth, and you will know the key to photography”

“Management speak has been infiltrated into our lives, a loathsome serpent crawling into our bed at night and choking the life out of our language. It is an outrage that the phrase ‘human resources’ was not strangled at birth.”

“I used to pound out so many research papers in college (I was a history major after all) but these days it’s all emails and blog posts and really, you’ve all ruined me. I swear the paperclip guy in Word is mocking me. ‘Go write your paper in Movable Type. You seem to be able to come up with the words there...’”

“When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.”

“In 2004, the typical family will pay about $700 less in taxes than it would have without the Bush tax cuts -- but meanwhile, the government will run up about $1,500 in debt on that family’s behalf.”

“Have you seen Britney Spears’ naked butt on the cover of this month’s Esquire? Not too long ago, her handlers ripped into me for asking if it were true she had breast augmentation. How dare I ask such a thing of this innocent, all-American girl?”

“You know, institutions worry about letting reporters blog without editing but they don’t worry about letting a jackass like this out without a leash.”

“Before addressing this week’s Falcons loss, this aside for all heartbroken Chicago Cubs fans: Cheer up, pal. Sure, you lost. Again. But anybody tuning in to the Bears’ game Sunday can catch the first start of the season by Chris Chandler and be eligible to win a copy of the new board game: ‘I’m A Chicago Sports Fan. Just Shoot Me Now.’”

“You can’t get good chinese takeout in China and cuban cigars are rationed in Cuba. That’s all you need to know about communism.”

“I really didn’t feel like I played an NFL game tonight. I hardly got hit.”

“I have a new life policy: ‘All other things being equal, avoid empowering lunatics.’ There are two difficult parts to this; one, that all other things are never actually equal, and two, that it’s harder than you might think to figure out who the lunatics are.”

“With our sermons, our empty gestures and our poetic flights, we [the French] have pissed off the planet. Worse: we make them laugh.”

“How can Bush think we’ll find Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein, but doesn’t believe we’ll find a snitch on his own staff?”

“I’d like a mudheef and the Internet. I don’t want to live entirely in the past.”

“If I could just get a nuclear device inside Foggy Bottom, I think that’s the answer.”

“For a Tweak-addict, defeat is extremely hard to admit. Although, a 12-step program for tweakers, assuming one exists, would probably say that indeed, defeat is what we had been attempting to accomplish all along.”

“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.”

“Because international issues trump all others in this dangerous age, many of us have given Bush a pass on his greedy, polarizing domestic agenda as long as his foreign policy appeared effective, courageous and wise. But selling out the Kurds would cancel every one of Bush’s promises and successes. If the Democrats want traction against Bush’s achievements abroad - which the president appears all too ready to sacrifice - the administration’s abrupt, opportunistic disregard of Kurdish interests would be a good place to start. And then the Dems can take on the Bush regime’s love for Saudi Arabia.”

“Rush Limbaugh is a lame professional Swine and he makes a good living at it. He is like a hired Geek in some traveling backwoods carnival -- the freaks who bite the heads off Chickens -- but Limbaugh is a modernized Geek who thinks he can bite the heads off of people.”

“There’s only one rational explanation for why this was done, and it was clearly to send a message out that if you publicly criticize this administration, whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, there might be consequences to suffer.”

“Relationships based on constant arguments are either meant to be marriages or sitcoms.”

“These words actually subtract value from the paper they’re printed on.”

“In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he’d take two armoured calvalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I’m a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It’s all so simple somehow.”

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.”

“But neither Colson nor Ehrlichman nor anyone else I knew while working at the Nixon White House had the necessary viciousness, or depravity, to attack the wife of a perceived enemy by employing potentially life-threatening tactics.”

“I do believe, however, that the president would never have condoned or been party to anything like this.”

“He [Morgan Freeman] started off playing a chauffeur in ‘Driving Miss Daisy,’ and then they elevated him to head of the CIA, and then they elevated him to president and in his last role they made him God. I just wonder, isn’t Rush Limbaugh right to question the fact, is he that good an actor or not?”

“It’s hard to believe Michael Jackson used to be a black man. Now he looks like a very odd white woman.”

”...The man who signs her check is the man that she’s investigating, and she hasn’t been very aggressive about it.”

“One of the annoying things about believing in free will and individual responsibility is the difficulty of finding somebody to blame your problems on. And when you do find somebody, it’s remarkable how often his picture turns up on your driver’s license.”

“Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty.”

“Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she’s losing. Well I say, hard cheese.”

“The blues are the roots, everything else is the fruits.”