April 2001 »

March 30, 2001

“I’m filled with piss n’ vinegar! ... at first I was just filled with vinegar.”
Grandpa Simpson
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“A vendor’s Big Pipe Box turned casters up and coughed up a lung.”
John F. Nixon, on why I couldn’t connect yesterday
(More like this in: Internet) .:link:.
“Negatives are the notebooks, the jottings, the false starts, the whims, the poor drafts, and the good draft but never the completed version of the work. The completed version, a print, should be sufficient and fair return for a magazine’s investment, for it is the means of fulfilling the magazine’s purpose. The print and a proper one is the only completed photograph, whether it is specifically shaded for reproduction, or for a museum wall. Negatives are private, as is my bedroom.”
W. Eugene Smith
(More like this in: Photography, W Eugene Smith) .:link:.

March 28, 2001

“I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.”
Steven Wright
(More like this in: Steven Wright) .:link:.
“I have a most peaceable disposition. My desires are for a modest hut, a thatched roof, but a good bed, good food, very fresh milk and butter, flowers in front of my window and a few pretty trees by my door. And should the good Lord wish to make me really happy, he will allow me the pleasure of seeing about six or seven of my enemies hanged upon those trees.”
Heinrich Heine
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“Let’s suppose that this great idea works and the station actually starts making a lot money. Do you know what that can lead to, Andy? Memos. Before you know it, assigned parking spaces. Then chrome furniture, and lots of paintings of wistful children with big eyes. Believe me, I’ve seen it happen before!”
Dr. Johnny Fever
(More like this in: Media and Entertainment) .:link:.

March 27, 2001

“Philosopher Jean Paul Sartre once said, ‘Hell is other people.’ And he should know, because he lived in France.”
Dennis Miller
(More like this in: Critics and Commentary) .:link:.
“It’s a, I say it’s a joke son. Don’t cha get it? You’re built too short, the good ones go over yer head. Ya got a hole in yer glove, boy, I keep pitching them and you keep missing them. Ya gotta keep yer eye on the ball, son. Eye. Ball. Eyeball. I almost had a funny there. Joke, that is.”
Foghorn Leghorn
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“The TV business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.”
Hunter S. Thompson

March 25, 2001

“I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, ‘Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.’ He said, ‘Yes, but not in a row.’ “
Steven Wright
(More like this in: Steven Wright) .:link:.
“It takes a lot of imagination to be a good photographer. You need less imagination to be a painter, because you can invent things. But in photography everything is so ordinary; it takes a lot of looking before you learn to see the ordinary.”
David Bailey
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.
“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of small children; who has filled his niche, and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty , or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others, and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.”
Bessie Anderson Stanley
(More like this in: Inspiration) .:link:.

March 24, 2001

“Life is like playing the violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.”
Samuel Butler
(More like this in: Life) .:link:.
“There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse.”
John Locke
(More like this in: Wisdom) .:link:.
“The only thing I thought might ever kill me off was clean living. I thought, ‘How am I going to listen to that horrible noise I make without a gram of coke and a couple of double Jack Daniels?’ “
Iggy Pop
(More like this in: Music) .:link:.

March 23, 2001

“I always thought of photography as a naughty thing to do -- that was one of my favorite things about it, and when I first did it, I felt very perverse.”
Diane Arbus
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.
“Mother always told me that journalism wasn’t a gentleman’s pursuit. I think at the end there she really had her heart set on me being a ... cowboy.”
Les Nessman
(More like this in: Media and Entertainment) .:link:.
“I have a theory that the truth is never told during the 9 to 5 hours.”
Hunter S. Thompson
(More like this in: Business, Hunter Thompson) .:link:.

March 21, 2001

“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.”
Jeff Valdez
(More like this in: Cats) .:link:.
“When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”
Thomas Jefferson
(More like this in: Thomas Jefferson, Wisdom) .:link:.
“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.”
Mark Twain
(More like this in: Mark Twain, Wisdom) .:link:.
“What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.”
Crowfoot, 1890, Blackfoot warrior and orator
(More like this in: Life, Native Americans) .:link:.
“A cup of coffee - real coffee - home-browned, home-ground, home-made, that comes to you dark as a hazel-eye, but changes to a golden bronze as you temper it with cream that never cheated, but was real cream from its birth, thick, tenderly yellow, perfectly sweet, neither lumpy nor frothing on the Java: such a coffee is a match for twenty blue devils, and will exorcise them all.”
Henry Ward Beecher
(More like this in: Wisdom) .:link:.

March 20, 2001

“All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.”
Sean O’Casey
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”
Gene Fowler
(More like this in: Writing) .:link:.
“In accordance with our principles of free enterprise and healthy competition, I’m going to ask you two to fight to the death for it.”
Monty Python
(More like this in: Business) .:link:.
“Sacred cows make the best hamburger.”
Mark Twain
(More like this in: Mark Twain) .:link:.

March 19, 2001

“Internet companies talk about privacy, but when push comes to shove they’re not going to toss out what gives them market value.”
(More like this in: Internet) .:link:.

March 18, 2001

“Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.”
“The camera is an instrument of detection. We photograph not only what we know, but what we don’t know.”
Lisette Model
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.
“Disappointment, when it involves neither shame nor loss, is as good as success; for it supplies as many images to the mind, and as many topics to the tongue.”
Samuel Johnson
(More like this in: Inspiration, Samuel Johnson) .:link:.

March 17, 2001

“The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.”
P.J. O’Rourke
“I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.”
Jean Cocteau
(More like this in: Creativity) .:link:.
“Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”
H. L. Mencken

March 16, 2001

“I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.”
(More like this in: Art, Creativity, Inspiration) .:link:.
“We are most nearly ourselves when we achieve the seriousness of the child at play.”
(More like this in: Creativity, Inspiration) .:link:.
“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.”
George Bernard Shaw
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“The problem is that most corps think of their website as a marketing endeavor -- like a billboard -- instead of as a front office to their corporate headquarters. If they thought of their websites as places where they brought their clients, those websites would be much classier and elegant and usable -- same as their offices. You don’t let your marketing people run your front office; you shouldn’t let your marketing people run your website.”
Vanessa Layne, web designer
(More like this in: Business, Web and Blogs) .:link:.

March 15, 2001

“Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether.”
Hunter S. Thompson, “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”
(More like this in: Hunter Thompson) .:link:.
“There’s something about me that makes a lot of people want to throw up.”
Pat Boone
(More like this in: Music) .:link:.
“I’m not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults.”
David Lee Roth
(More like this in: Music) .:link:.
“I’m the Connie Francis of rock ‘n’ roll.”
Elton John
(More like this in: Music) .:link:.

March 14, 2001

“My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of other pessimists.”
Jean Rostand
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“Songwriting is about getting the demon out of me. It’s like being posessed. You try to go to sleep, but the song won’t let you. So you have to get up and make it into something, and then you’re allowed to sleep. It’s always in the middle of the night, or you’re half-awake or tired, when your critical faculties are switched off. So letting go is what the whole game is. Every time you try to put your finger on it, it slips away. You turn on the lights and the cockroaches run away. You can never grasp them.”
John Lennon
(More like this in: Creativity, Music) .:link:.
“The advance planning and sense stimuli employed to capture a $10 million cigarette or soap market are nothing compared to the brainwashing and propaganda blitzes used to ensure control of the largest cash market in the world: the Executive Branch of the United States Government.”
Phyllis Schlafly

March 13, 2001

“Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.”
Ben Hecht
(More like this in: Media and Entertainment) .:link:.
“What you are shouts so loud in my ears I cannot hear what you say.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
(More like this in: Insults) .:link:.
“When I think of the number of disagreeable people that I know who have gone to a better world, I am sure hell won’t be so bad at all.”
Mark Twain
(More like this in: Insults, Mark Twain) .:link:.

March 12, 2001

“It really bothers me when I see people doing my mother in drag. I mean, just imagine if you saw people doing that with your mother.”
Chastity Bono, Cher’s daughter
(More like this in: Media and Entertainment) .:link:.
“Some pictures are tentative forays without your even knowing it. They become methods. It’s important to take bad pictures. It’s the bad ones that have to do with what you’ve never done before. They can make you recognize something you hadn’t seen in a way that will make you recognize it when you see it again.”
Diane Arbus
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.

March 11, 2001

“The professional, however, has all his energies directed to make things pay. He has too much at stake to speculate. He chooses the safest way. He is the true conservative, and when he gets hold of anything that works passable well, changes with reluctance. If an amateur experiments with a new toning bath on a batch of perhaps half-a-dozen prints, and fails, well the loss is not great, and he gains in knowledge and experience. But the professional has his batch of perhaps six hundred, and if he fail, the loss is something considerable...”
Jabez Hughes, 1863
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.
“The advance of photography is something like the progress of an army. The main body keeps in safe marching order, while the more daring and adventurous are the pioneers who lead the army - rushing here, feeling their way there; always skirmishing, often retiring, but eventually succeeding in finding new tracks and safe paths for the main body to securely pass along.”
Jabez Hughes, 1863
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.

March 10, 2001

“I prefer rogues to imbeciles, because they sometimes take a rest.”
Alexandre Dumas
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“Once I traveled about in an old bakery wagon, a double-doored rattler with a mattress on the floor, I stopped where people stopped or gathered, I listened and looked and felt, and in the process had a picture of my country the accuracy of which was impaired only by my own shortcomings.”
John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley
(More like this in: America) .:link:.

March 09, 2001

“I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am.”
Samuel Johnson
(More like this in: Samuel Johnson) .:link:.
“Hardening of the categories causes art disease.”
W. Eugene Smith
(More like this in: Art, W Eugene Smith) .:link:.
“Your photography is a record of your living - for anyone who really sees. You may see and be affected by other people’s ways, you may even use them to find your own, but you will have eventually to free yourself of them. That is what Nietzche meant when he said, ‘I have just read Schopenhauer, now I have to get rid of him.’ He knew how insidious other people’s ways could be, particularly those which have the forcefulness of profound experience, if you let them get between you and your own personal vision.”
Paul Strand

March 08, 2001

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.”
W. Somerset Maugham
(More like this in: Insults) .:link:.
“It could be a 300-pound lady with a wart for a nose who lives in Duluth, but when she’s on the Net, she’s a mind and a keyboard, and she’s not afraid of you.”
David Crosby
(More like this in: Internet) .:link:.
“I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.”
Mahatma Gandhi
(More like this in: Photography) .:link:.

March 07, 2001

“God is in my head, but the devil is in my pants.”
Jonathan Winters
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“This company’s incompetence staggers us. Just when we think they can’t get any worse, they exceed all previous feats of non-service. A gibbon with an abacus would do a better job. Lord, if you are listening, smite these evil clowns.”
Jeffrey Zeldman, speaking of Network Solutions
(More like this in: Business, Internet) .:link:.
“I’m waiting for technology adequate to enable the fulfillment of my vision.”
Chief Broom, on why he doesn’t have a web page
(More like this in: Web and Blogs) .:link:.

March 06, 2001

“If you can’t stand a little bloody nose, why don’t you go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wonderous, with treasures to satiate appetites both subtle and gross. But it’s not for the timid.”
Q, from Star Trek
(More like this in: Wisdom) .:link:.
“It is different for the web, and will always be different for the web, because the web is not a sheet of paper. It doesn’t have finite or even predictable dimensions. Its content is not static. It doesn’t have five centuries of process and tradition from which we can draw best practices. It cannot be expressed entirely as a Cartesian coordinate system in increments of six or twelve hundred. Nor will these things soon change.”
Ben Henick, Issue #100, A List Apart
(More like this in: Web and Blogs) .:link:.
“Just because you like my stuff doesn’t mean I owe you anything.”
Bob Dylan
(More like this in: Music) .:link:.
“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”
Bobcat Goldthwait
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“Have no fear of perfection - you’ll never reach it.”
Salvadore Dali
(More like this in: Creativity, Inspiration) .:link:.

March 05, 2001

“As for company rules and policies, we have the Core Values and Belief’s, and our dress code - it’s good to be dressed. We also have one dress code recommendation - if you are going to be in a meeting with folks wearing suits, it’s recommended that you wear some form of footwear.”
Mike McQuary, President & C.O.O. MindSpring, circa 1996, the Good Ol’ Days
(More like this in: Business) .:link:.
“If a cat spoke, it would say things like, ‘Hey, I don’t see the problem here.’ “
Roy Blount, Jr.
(More like this in: Cats) .:link:.
“What evil times are these, when passing ruffians can say ‘Nee’ at will to old women. There is a pestilence in this land. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress.”
Eric the Shrubber, in Monty Python’s “Search for the Holy Grail”
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“It was a whirling dervish of egocentric obnoxion.”
Robert Reich
(More like this in: Witticisms) .:link:.
“As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you understand what I’m doing or why you’re paying me so much money. What’s important is that you continue to do so.”
Oscar Acosta, Hunter S. Thompson’s friend, foil, and “Samoan Attorney”
(More like this in: Hunter Thompson) .:link:.
April 2001 »
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