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I’m guessing you’ve seen the ads on TV. They are for a product that is an odd jumble of words, the “Amish made heat surge.” During the commercial, we see a lot of men wearing Amish hats, indoors, assembling these electrical devices, which they market as some kind of Amish made fireplace.

Hilarious example one, hilarious example two. They look so real, don’t they? (you can also teach your infant that things which look very hot are actually OK to touch!)

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It’s been a booming year for the comedy industry, already flush from the antics of Spears and Lohan, coffers overflowing with presidential candidates presenting about three dozen individual feet that might get swallowed by a runaway mouth on most any day, with a dollop of some foot-tapping bathroom follies for dessert. Yes, it’s been good times.

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I had a dream last night. In this dream, I found out why Osama bin Laden’s beard looks so different in the “new” photo from the upcoming video. He had shaved it off in order to disguise his appearance, but had a false one put on for the video so his “followers” would recognize him. In the video, he revealed the reason he required such drastic disguise measures was because we was now … in America. And preparing to martyr himself.

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There’s a guy named Don Draper, creative Director for a Manhattan advertising agency. In his world, everybody smokes, even the doctor when doing a patient exam. People at the agency are drinking by lunchtime. The guy in the art department is gay … and very much in the closet. The rest of the guys are innate chauvinists. The neighborhood divorcée makes all the wives nervous and catty. When Mom sees her little girl playing “astronaut” using the dry cleaning bag as her spacesuit, she gets upset … because she’s worried the girl dirtied Mommy’s freshly cleaned clothes.

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On Sunday, Fox News ramped up to Code Red when there was some confusion about a truck at the Port of Miami. From the sound of the talking heads on Fox, you’d think the city was about to explode. But ... it turns out it was a simple “miscommunication,” a language problem, and not anything sinister at all. However, it was good for a couple of hours of fair and balanced ScareTV.

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It’s about 11am. I’m working with CNN on in the background, and there’s a “breaking news” flash that a plane flying from London to DC has been diverted to Boston, after three passengers got into a confrontation with the flight crew. That’s the story on CNN and Fox as well, as of about 11:15am.

No, wait, it was just one woman who had an “anxiety attack.”

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