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Recently it seems to me the world has been filled with ridiculous claims.

The Atlanta Falcons claim they are going to trade Michael Vick. The thing is, in the NFL, you are actually trading a contract with a player, not so much the player himself. And in 2004, Vick signed a 10-year, $130 million contract with the Falcons. Now, how many NFL teams do you think are willing to swallow about $13 million per year for the next five seasons, just to take a chance on a convicted felon fresh out of jail? Shortly after June 1, you’ll see the Falcons release Vick and take the salary cap hit (about $7 million for 2009 alone), because they will have no trade takers.

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Has it really been a month and a half since I posted here? I’d like to tell you that it’s due to twitter. If I have a passing thought I think is worth sharing, rather than flesh it out into a blog post, it gets edited to 140 characters or less. But twitter is only partially the cause.

Anything of note in the news lately has been too depressing or mad-making to bother writing about. As if you or anyone really needs my input anyway, when our media cup runneth over.

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In 1972, I turned 14, and for Christmas I got [a] one of those fold-up “record players” and [b] three albums of my choosing. The first two I picked were “Paranoid” by Black Sabbath and The Fifth Dimension “Live.”

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This topic is a real pet peeve of mine, on the basis of responsibility to your fellow travelers. But often the only way things change is when it hits the wallet.

Vanessa McGrogan never noticed the car ahead of her own speeding vehicle until it was too late. Jeffrey Stasium didn’t see the auto crossing the intersection until his pickup truck slammed into the driver’s door. The crashes, separated by three years and 160 miles, had two things in common. Both drivers were distracted by their cellphone use, according to lawsuits filed against them. And their employers wrote big checks in recent months to settle those suits in Fulton County.

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When I first heard the following story, my inner shark rose quickly to the bait:

Hennepin County District Judge Charles Porter found that Craig had entered the guilty plea to to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge “accurately, voluntarily and intelligently,” and that it was too late to withdraw his admission.

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CNN is reporting a series of four suspicious fires in restrooms on Capitol Hill. Authorities say there is no reason to suspect Sen. Larry Craig at this time, but they are still investigating.

This has been this site’s attempt at the “flash-news directed hit-and-run blogging” all the cool kids love these days. Events may quickly make the above look entirely foolish. Which is why we don’t normally do this. But, we wanted to get the joke in with a time stamp before others did, and when busy, content comes out in the oddest of ways (like referring to oneself as “we”). This is yours for today. We appreciate your support,
The Editor

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It’s been a booming year for the comedy industry, already flush from the antics of Spears and Lohan, coffers overflowing with presidential candidates presenting about three dozen individual feet that might get swallowed by a runaway mouth on most any day, with a dollop of some foot-tapping bathroom follies for dessert. Yes, it’s been good times.

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Here in Georgia, many have been distressed by the case of Genarlow Wilson. The apparent injustice in his sentence actually motivated the legislature to change the law, but did not supply them with the cojones to make the law retroactive, i.e., let Genarlow out of jail.

So a few weeks back a judge struck down the sentence and ordered him released. He’s already served over two years for his “crime.” Our Georgia Attorney General (goodness, look who’s the number five search return for that phrase) decided to appeal that judgment, and keep him in jail. But he said he wouldn’t object to Genarlow being released on bond for appeal, so a hearing was set for July 5. Until that judge said, “don’t bother coming then, he’s not eligible for bond.” So Genarlow may well be in jail a total of two and a half years before that appeal hits the courtroom. Thirty months.

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I hate to stoop to the level of posting about “Poor Paris.” Because I think Al Gore had a valid point when he notes the media tells us everything about Paris’ jail sentence, and Brittney’s rehab, and Anna Nicole’s will, but educates us so poorly on the truly important issues of the day. And I hate to contribute to that effect.

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It seems like over the past year that when anyone says “boo,” people rush to ask, “Terrorism”? As I wrote not long ago, “We’re sorry this country has reached the point where every odd smell in downtown Manhattan, every prank by some obvious web goober, every unruly woman on an airplane, or every jokester college student playing with dry ice ... is immediately construed as a terroristic act.”

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I don’t really have much commentary on the news that “Scooter” Libby was found guilty on four of five counts. Other than perhaps that, once again, it’s the coverup that gets you.

I mainly had a subject line in search of some excuse for an article. Thus, my work is done here.

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Susan came home yesterday after a busy day at work, and asked me what was going on in the world. I told her I was having a hard time deciding which story was more entertaining: the Diapered AstroNut or the Sexually Healed Preacher.

I’m still not sure. But I’m thankful for days that bring such choices.

First, the Diapered AstroNut. I hesitate to call her that, but it seems accurate from what is known at this point. It’s the dichotomy here that is so jarring to me. All other things being equal, the average person has a better chance of being a highly paid professional sports player, or a rock star, than an astronaut. This woman went through an extreme selection process, intense training, and performed ably. One would think such a person could be described as beyond competent.

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It’s about 11am. I’m working with CNN on in the background, and there’s a “breaking news” flash that a plane flying from London to DC has been diverted to Boston, after three passengers got into a confrontation with the flight crew. That’s the story on CNN and Fox as well, as of about 11:15am.

No, wait, it was just one woman who had an “anxiety attack.”

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Over the past couple of days, I’ve come across several stories about people affected by Katrina, and how they are four months on. Especially at Christmas time.

John Grisham: Silent Nights on the Gulf Coast — “If there is a common Christmas wish from this torn land, it is simply this: Please don’t forget us.”

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I had a busy day Monday, my head down into the keyboard, so I wasn’t exactly tracking local news. Imagine my surprise when I see that one of the most linked stories is about a “terrorism bombing” in Atlanta. Then, imagine my yawning ennui to find yet another overblown story that turns out to be more media sensationalism and blogger blather than fact, while another ominous story is completely ignored (“Look, a pony!” ... as a T-Rex walks by behind them).

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