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It is now 12:34:56 on 07/08/09.

That is all.

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I decided I’d better tell this “joke” before it’s old news. During the course of this looonnng campaign, odd things can happen to one’s brain. In my case, I’ve come to think of the election when I drive up to the GA 400 toll booth.

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It is now 04:05 on 06/07/08.

That is all. Go back to bed.

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I’ve been informed that today is Bad Poetry Day, and I was asked to make a contribution. Bad poetry? Hell, I can do that. The first that came to mind…

Bad poetry day
Make some, why yes, I can, but
I’d rather haiku

However, I actually had a half baked idea for some song lyrics running around in my head … and we all know I’m not going to be writing and singing songs. So the idea has been harvested (besides, it works better with links, and I don’t have to worry about rhythm … it’s supposed to be bad!). In the tradition of Henry Gibson and Tyrone Green, I give you…

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We should probably file this under “tabloid strength gossip,” but it’s too good to let pass without comment. With all else going on in our fractious world, the question I really want answered is … Did Osama Lust For Whitney?

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States – the world’s most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he’s even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.

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I hope you had an enjoyable Fourth of July weekend. In Georgia, it’s the first time we’ve been able to buy “legal” fireworks (though they are so legislatively crippled that calling them “fireworks” is about like calling paintball “war”)..

There’s a quite a few things that recently became newly legal, or illegal, as the fine handicraft of our state legislature’s session (“it will be against the law to obscure license plates with fake body parts”) went into effect on July 1.

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There have been some faces in the news lately that have stood out to me in ways they might not have stood out to you. Because, like the one I see in the mirror each day, they are 46 year old faces.

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I missed 01-02-03, and 02-03-04 (though I did start using Textpattern on this site on 04-04-04). But I wanted to note, today is 03-04-05.

That is all.

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Getting dead trees cut down and removed can be very expensive. Even when things go well.

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Last July, I wrote about the oddity of fluid costs. It was inspired by complaints about the high cost of ink for ink jet printers. They determined that ink was $83.68 per ounce of fluid. Today, of course, people are upset about the rising price of gasoline.

But let’s have some perspective.

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Cost of Christmas Up – Don’t be fooled, not all the economic news is good. At this time of year, this one hurts: ”While stiff import competition is driving deeper discounts on merchandise sold in the United States, skilled labor cost is on the rise, resulting in a 16 percent increase in this years PNC Advisors Christmas Price Index the biggest jump the Index has seen in its 19-year history.”

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A Man’s Got to Known His Caffeine Limitations – Some things are good to know if you ever have to “push the caffeine envelope.”

“What are some warning signs of a caffeine overdose?”

“People sufering from caffeine overdose can be identified with at least five of the following signs: restlessess, nervousness, excitement, insomnia, flushed face, diuresis, gastrointestinal disturbance, muscle twitching, rambling flow of thought and speech, tachycardia or cardiac arrythmia, periods of exhaustability, and psychomotor agitation.”

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Fluid Costs – We humans value things in funny ways. Especially when it comes to fluids. This one’s been percolating in my mind for a while, and was brought forth by this: “Ink for home printers is now seven times more expensive than vintage champagne. Ink in a typical replacement cartridge costs about 1.70 per millilitre, compared with 1985 Dom Perignon at 23p per millilitre.”

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Cat Haiku, Dog Haiku – This is old, from a 4 year old e-mail I stumbled across. And there’s stuff like this all over the web. But I still find it funny, perhaps because I think it’s what our pets might sound like if they spoke (heaven forbid), so I had to pass it on: Cat Hiaku, and Dog Haiku. Original author unknown.

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Miscellaneous AprilFoolery – I didn’t come across a whole lot of 4/1 prankery today, and this first item isn’t even dated 4/1, but it’s fun nonetheless. From the fine folks at Pravda: “Saddam and the aliens” ... “An UFO-related incident that occurred four years ago poses a troubling question whether any kind of cooperation is possible between Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein and extraterrestrials’ [...] The aliens took ordinary desert scorpions and used their bio-engineering to grow the scorpions to giant size. Scorpions of a cow-size! They are wonderful watchdogs: they blend in with the desert, swiftly and silently move on their warm-blooded prey for a decisive attack. Luckless intruders hear just some strange sound from behind stones, then a pincer crushes their necks, another pincer crushes their legs; then the victims is slammed to the ground and beaten with a barbed tail six or seven times. Death comes almost immediately.’”

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Time Traveller Busted for Insider Trading – Tomorrow is April Fool’s Day, so I’m wary, but this article is dated March 19. Still, part of me wants to be suckered in …. “’But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks’ time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can’t be pure luck. The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He’s going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources.’”

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And While We’re Talking About Music… – Susan was trying to pull the name of a country artist out of her head tonight. With it on the tip of her tongue, she was prodding me to help her with the name…

“You know, the country guy who wears a hat because he’s losing his hair.”

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The Horror of Blimps – This link has gotten pretty popular over the past few days, for good reason. It’s hilarious. But I originally clicked on it because the words “The Horror of Blimps” brought back a semi-traumatic childhood memory.

I’m not sure how old I was … kindergarden age or younger. Early 1960’s. I was playing in our backyard, which ended at a steep hill, with a treeline looming across the top of it. Over this high looming horizon came a monstrously huge dark shape. It kept growing, and growing, getting even bigger as it came my way … yet not making a sound.

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Quotes from the Overwhelmed – Sometimes herculean chores bring forth quotes. Like Steven Green, who is moving into a newly purchased home: “Book burners are neither Nazis, nor Communists, nor religious nuts. They’re just people who have moved one too many times.”

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