PhotoDude.com

I’m guessing you’ve seen the ads on TV. They are for a product that is an odd jumble of words, the “Amish made heat surge.” During the commercial, we see a lot of men wearing Amish hats, indoors, assembling these electrical devices, which they market as some kind of Amish made fireplace.

Hilarious example one, hilarious example two. They look so real, don’t they? (you can also teach your infant that things which look very hot are actually OK to touch!)

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Last year, I asked, “Question: How much stupidity can form around one simple football game? Answer: In America, stupidity knows no boundaries.”

Well, over the last year, you might say some boundaries were established. The only stupid mishap I saw this year was when Coach Belichick came out of the tunnel at the start of the game, and he went to the wrong bench. Um, other side of the field, Coach. After that, he was fairly flawless.

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[The following is a letter composed to be sent to Circuit City, knowing full well it won’t change a thing. But I have a feeling it’s a common complaint, so I’m also posting it here.]

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I’ve been in one form or another of the advertising business since 1977, and have had this domain over 7 years. And as of today, you can purchase an ad on PhotoDude.com.

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I guess it’s not exactly news that political ads often distort reality. But the latest ads from MoveOn.org step over a couple of lines. Or rather, stomp all over them.

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The Origins Of The Dew – My own site is purveying dangerous misinformation: “Actually, Mountain Dew was a copy itself, of Canada Dry’s Wink (‘The Sassy One’ as it was called in the commercials in the late 1960s). Mountain Dew followed it onto the shelves a short time later, and benefitted from Pepsi’s superior nationwide marketing ability.”

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Battle of the Brand Colors – I’ve written before about a childhood friend and amazing product, responsible “’for more case sales in the U.S.—810 million—than all of the bottled water brands combined’, with retail sales of almost $5 billion.” The product is Mountain Dew, and I wrote “I Dew” when they introduced the Original Blasphemer, Mountain Dew Code Red.

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One Crappy Ad Campaign – If you have food or beverage in hand, move along. This is a bit … scatological. I thought maybe I was just weird (stop snickering) in my reaction to a certain ad campaign that’s been going on for some time now. I thought maybe it was just some childhood trauma from toilet training deeply buried in my subconcious that caused me to react the way I did. But I’ve recently learned that others had the very same reaction to hearing the dominant catch phrase in this ad campaign:

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Not Quite Dead Yet – “The airwaves belong to the people dammit.” Melanie is on a tear, and she closes “Topic One” with that precious and quaint thought. One hesitates to abuse the notion, as it would seem as mean as declaring there’s no Santa Claus.

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The Myth of ’18 to 34’ – The advertising industry has long functioned on the the basic ”appeal” to a particular target audience, the ”18 to 34’s,” to the point it became more than just a target audience. It’s become a driving force of American culture. "It is, as it has been for 40 years, the principle by which a great deal of our popular culture—not just TV, but music, movies, radio—comes into existence."

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Customer Communication Means Profit, Dummy – No, that’s not what the article says. But hang on, this customer will get there. "The nation’s second-largest Internet provider, EarthLink, launched a digital music service this week, following the lead of its giant competitor, America Online, and smaller providers such as Speakeasy.net [...] It’s part of an industry-wide attempt to move beyond the bland, low-profit business of connectivity to the more lucrative realm of digital entertainment—in hopes of eventually competing with cable for a greater share of home spending.

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Gonzo Marketing: The Semantic Disconnect – (via Dangerousmeta) The article has a discouraging headline, ”Net firms turning to tradition in advertising,” but it starts off on a hopeful note, one that resonates with all the discussion of late: "...ad buyers steeped in the vernacular of print, outdoor and broadcast media still don’t understand how to reach a specific audience on the Internet."

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Gonzo Marketing: Evolution, Not Revolution – There’s been a lot of commentary since I reacted to the article in The Guardian on ”Gonzo Marketing,” and to some, my admittedly sloppily presented position seems one of opposition. As usual, things are not quite so binary.

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Gonzo Marketing – No, unfortunately Hunter S. Thompson isn’t involved, as that would give this idea more entertainment value. Here’s the concept, as capsulized in The Guardian: "What replaces mass market, broadcast advertising is Locke’s ’gonzo marketing’, which is not really marketing but ’market advocacy’ through participation, sponsorship and support. The internet replaces the us-and-them relationship (creative people broadcasting to couch potatoes) with a network of conversations, which is all markets are, really. "

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What Kind of Capitalists Are You? – This tickles me in a special place. "At least nine national cable networks have turned down a potentially lucrative—though controversial—ad schedule from the Royal Embassy of Saudi Arabia. No national cable networks are known to have accepted the ads. The 10-day flight is an image campaign from the Arab nation. The tagline for the spots is ’The People of Saudi Arabia—Allies Against Terrorism.’ "

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Some Space Is Not For Sale – I expect to see all kinds of weird advertising within my browser ”portal,” the portion of a browser that displays web pages. Flash critters dancing across entire pages, epilepsy inducing banner ads, ads that purposely imitate operating system components in hopes the unwary will click them … it’s all unfortunately part of visual landscape on much of the web.

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Old Man Pleads for Mercy, ”Make It Stop!” – It’s not the first time: "Used to be, you could depend on certain things. The sky is blue. Ketchup is red. No, that was too simple to survive in the Land of Branding and Marketing. First it was green ketchup. And we let them get away with it, when we should have squashed them on the beach. Now with a toehold, they’ve gotten bolder. I already pointed out the Blasphemer Red Mountain Dew. Now, there’s purple ketchup."

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Make It Stop!!! – It must be confusing growing up as a kid these days. Used to be, you could depend on certain things. The sky is blue. Ketchup is red.

No, that was too simple to survive in the Land of Branding and Marketing. First it was green ketchup. And we let them get away with it, when we should have squashed them on the beach. Now with a toehold, they’ve gotten bolder. I already pointed out the Blasphemer Red Mountain Dew. Now, there’s purple ketchup. And Yellow Diet Coke (well, it’s got lemon in it).

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