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November 11, 2005
Cow-tipping myth hasn’t got a leg to stand on
“I suspect that even if a dynamic physics model suggests cow tipping is possible, the biology ultimately gets in the way: a cow is simply not a rigid, unresponding body.”
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November 10, 2005
On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study
“The helmets amplify frequency bands that coincide with those allocated to the US government between 1.2 Ghz and 1.4 Ghz”
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Charlie Brown Christmas Tree
“The tree comes with one red Christmas ball ornament.”
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November 09, 2005
Top Thirty Facts About Chuck Norris
“Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.”
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October 15, 2005
The Country That Loved Spam
“South Koreans take their Spam quite seriously and seem mystified as to why it is a subject of parody among Americans.”
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October 14, 2005
Hanlon’s Razor
“Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” Seems particularly appropriate for our two recent terrorist non-incidents in Atlanta
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October 09, 2005
Unicef bombs the Smurfs in fund-raising campaign for ex-child soldiers
“The people of Belgium have been left reeling by the first adult-only episode of the Smurfs, in which the blue-skinned cartoon characters’ village is annihilated by warplanes.”
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September 27, 2005
The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity
“Thus one finds the same percentage of stupid people whether one is considering very large groups or one is dealing with very small ones. No other set of observable phenomena offers such striking proof of the powers of Nature.”
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August 26, 2005
Cats In Sinks
“It’s obvious. It’s about cats. And kittens. Who like sinks. And basins. And that’s it.”
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August 13, 2005
User’s Notes: Installing Linux on a Dead Badger
“Place badger in center of fireproof surface, making sure ventilation is adequate and all doors are locked”
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August 12, 2005
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Thou art no Romeo
Lesbian swans in that den of heathen liberals, Boston: ”If these two swans are happy together, they shouldn’t have to have a guy”
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July 22, 2005
Shrill Jokes
You see, that’s funny, because...
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June 17, 2005
Saucy email shame of City lawyer
“Remember to be nice to your secretaries.” Because if you’re not, they can make you an internationally known fool.
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June 16, 2005
Google Search: wrestled woman “got my butt kicked”
Somehow my life has conspired to make me the #1 search return if you’re looking for a guy who wrestled a woman and got his butt kicked. They told me the Internet Gods could be perverse, but I had no idea...
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June 11, 2005
Cuidado: Vomito de Gato
We have an unfortunate and distinct need for some of these in our home.
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QT Video of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the Jackson Trial
“Criticizing the media is like booing at the Special Olympics”
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June 10, 2005
The Nazis invented the sex doll
“The greatest danger in Paris are the wide-spread and uncontrolled whores, picking up clients in bars, dancehalls and other places. It is our duty to prevent soldiers from risking their health, just for the sake of a quick adventure.”
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May 25, 2005
The linguistic history of “Dude”
We learn the origin is “dudesman,” meaning scarecrow ... but I’m shocked by the omission of The Modified ‘Dude’, as in “PhotoDude”
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May 18, 2005
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May 14, 2005
Only In America: Jennifer’s High Tailin’ Hot Sauce
“Bring Jennifer home to your house for that Spicy and Uncertain feeling that only she can bring.”
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May 06, 2005
BWG: Hell Money
Colorful Chinese money, suitable for burning, from BWG: “Common on the faces of all Hell Bank Notes is the image of the Emperor of the Afterworld: the Lord of Hell.”
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April 09, 2005
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April 05, 2005
Arc de Monitor
More evidence of the death of the CRT ... three years ago, a dozen monitors arranged like this might have been a five grand firing offense
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April 01, 2005
NASA Astronomy Picture of the Day
“Water on Mars.” Your tax dollars at work!
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March 18, 2005
The Ice Wall Falls
I’ve been following this for the past two months, as they made an ice tower 152 feet tall (Alaska winters are cold and boring). It finally fell
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March 10, 2005
Slacker Manager: The unspoken language of...
Body language at the office, and how to use it to keep people out of yours
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February 05, 2005
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January 23, 2005
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January 17, 2005
Vintage Soviet Poster Database
How to go from Evil Empire to Cultural Kitsch in two decades or less
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January 13, 2005
Announcing the Apple iProduct
“Your life. In a small plastic case.”
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January 02, 2005
100 things we didn’t know at this time last year
Including “One gigabyte of information ... is the equivalent of a pick-up truck load of paper”
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December 23, 2004
Christmas Armaments
“Caleb and Eli have boots and hats, bandanas and sheriff’s badges. But they don’t have holsters and guns. Without those critical components, however, you’ve really just got yourself a Village People costume”
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December 21, 2004
My Cat Hates You
... for giving him a bad toupee
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December 20, 2004
Scared of Santa
24 photos of kids facing their fears, in the name of toys
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December 18, 2004
People Seem to Hate “The Cubes”
But I see tremendous photo opportunities (
remember these?). Comedic publishing opportunies. Buy me
Set Three (it’s Les, not Ted) and the
Expansion pack for Christmas, and watch what I do with them...
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December 04, 2004
Cluster Balloons
The hopefully safer descendant of
Larry the Lawn Chair Pilot: “A TWA pilot first spotted Larry and radioed the tower that he was passing a guy in a lawn chair at 16,000 ft.”
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November 29, 2004
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November 24, 2004
Come Clean
Confess your sins, and then wash them away. Literally.
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November 22, 2004
Photo: 21 people inside one Mini
I think doing it barefooted is cheating
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November 09, 2004
How Hillary Clinton Won the Elections of 2008 and 2012
“President Jeb Bush’s popularity was enhanced when his eldest son married Chelsea Clinton.”
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October 22, 2004
Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog takes poops on Spin Alley
This is as good as Jon Stewart on Crossfire. 15MB, but gut bustingly funny.
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October 21, 2004
Compare and Contrast: The Carlsons. (Tucker from CNN, and Arthur from WKRP)
I used to work for a guy just like Arthur ... and liked him. I’d cross the street to avoid Tucker.
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If Architects Had To Work Like Web Designers
“PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I’ve given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences”
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October 19, 2004
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October 15, 2004
Before you complain about the lack of a free update from your blogware developer, read about his day...
If it’s not the phone, it’s the keyboard. If it’s not the keyboard, it’s the dogs. If it’s not the dogs, it’s the PHP5 bug that looks like a DDOS attack
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October 10, 2004
“I finally got the tomato soup off of the ceiling.”
If you can’t tell stories on your wife, what’s the point in having a blog?
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October 09, 2004
NeedSumWood.com
I shouldn’t laugh. But I nearly died. Even the banner ad is funny. How’d they do it overnight?
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October 08, 2004
Another Jib-Jab Joint: Good To Be In D.C.
Pretty big download, but has some funny moments
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October 03, 2004
moc.eduDotohP
For those viewing the web via a mirror
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September 16, 2004
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September 13, 2004
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September 10, 2004
Cooking For Engineers
The recipe format is quite interesting ... and suitably geeky
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August 24, 2004
Test Your Pet
Is your cat a lefty? Mine is.
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August 10, 2004
The PC EZ-Bake Oven
Comes with Dehydrated Caffeinated Meatloaf
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July 29, 2004
elgooG
Search returns in mirror are closer than they appear
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July 28, 2004
Only in Georgia: Hogzilla
The picture is priceless ... one proud Jawja Boy and his half ton hog
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July 27, 2004
Guy’s Night Out Permission Slip
“I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer”
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Girl’s Night Out Permission Slip
And you might get it initialed, but never a full legal signature.
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July 19, 2004
Cigarettes and portable toilets don’t mix
The methane didn’t ‘take too kindly’ to the lit cigarette
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Drinking and shotguns in your pants don’t mix
More specifically, 15 pints of beer and a sawed-off shotgun don’t mix
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July 18, 2004
Doom 3
One wicked site for one wicked game
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July 08, 2004
Technologically perverse, but quite funny
A full size retro phone headset to attach to your 2 inch square flip phone
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July 01, 2004
I live here
In the building half off screen at the top left. That’s my black truck, just above the center.
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June 30, 2004
If __________, that means the terrorists have already won!
“If the scoreboard says, ‘Terrorists 9, Good Guys 3’, that means the terrorists have already won!”
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June 24, 2004
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June 20, 2004
All hours are not created equal
“$150/hr Standard Rate ... $400/hr if you worked on it first”
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May 22, 2004
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May 20, 2004
The parentless lass impacted my flat bed vehicle
“Janae got out of her car, saw the damage and proceeded to leave the scene”
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The Ultimate War Sim (Laugh? Thought I’d die...)
“Like my Grandpa always said, there were no naked human pyramids in Starcraft.”
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May 17, 2004
The Alleged Return of Andy Kaufman
Andy would never bleep “tell him to f*** off” with 3 asterisks. I only use one. Andy would use none.
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May 07, 2004
Now this is how to get out of a speeding ticket
In New Zealand, an effective sense of humor can eliminate speeding tickets
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The Infinite Cat Project
Fritz watching Zoot, watching Abby, watching Frankie, watching Poozy, watching Frankie, watching Sammy, watching Frankie...
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April 27, 2004
Photo: Due to
this entry, I’ve gotten tons of
search requests today for a
photo of Gaddafi’s female bodyguards. Here’s one.
If you’re going to be a dictator, this is the way to go
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April 25, 2004
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April 19, 2004
Photo Essay: 9 Reasons Not To Drink
...or perhaps to be more selective about your “friends”
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April 14, 2004
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April 12, 2004
Yikes! “Stotts future still uncertain”
This is not the type of headline you like to read, if your last name is Stott ... but this is about the Hawk’s coach, Terry Stotts
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April 08, 2004
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The Subservient Chicken
Simply too bizarre for words ... go type the word ‘fart’
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March 31, 2004
A Real Live Preacher fights a Real Live Raccoon, Pt. 3
“I wasn’t as irritated at the raccoon since I found out she had babies”
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March 27, 2004
A Real Live Preacher fights a Real Live Raccoon, Pt. 2
“Picture if you will, an insane man, a crazed and silly man, running all over his roof in the wee hours of the morning. Can you see him with his flashlight and a wild look in his eyes?”
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March 26, 2004
9/11 Hearings Summarized in a Flow Chart
One can truly see the bipartisan nature of the commission in this chart
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March 25, 2004
A Real Live Preacher fights a Real Live Raccoon, Pt. 1
everything I know about wild animals I learned from ‘The Simpsons’
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March 24, 2004
Photos: Damon’s New Office
Decorated with 2500 Post-It notes
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March 11, 2004
The USB Swiss Army Knife
Now available with 64 or 128MB of memory
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March 08, 2004
The Six Patron Saints of Graphic Design
Saint Anxiete was tragically martyred ... when trampled by a herd of cattle while chasing after the the King of Fedex to hand him a package
