The Daily Whim: Ridiculous Claims

The Daily Whim

Piled High For Your Enjoyment

Mon. Apr 06, 2009

Ridiculous Claims

Recently it seems to me the world has been filled with ridiculous claims.

The Atlanta Falcons claim they are going to trade Michael Vick. The thing is, in the NFL, you are actually trading a contract with a player, not so much the player himself. And in 2004, Vick signed a 10-year, $130 million contract with the Falcons. Now, how many NFL teams do you think are willing to swallow about $13 million per year for the next five seasons, just to take a chance on a convicted felon fresh out of jail? Shortly after June 1, you’ll see the Falcons release Vick and take the salary cap hit (about $7 million for 2009 alone), because they will have no trade takers.

Michael Vick claims in bankruptcy court that he expects to return to the NFL, earn $10 million per year, and play for another 10 to 12 years. He’s 28 years old. The average length of career in the NFL is less than 4 years … which he has already exceeded, prior to his jail term. Look around the NFL, and see how many 38 to 40 year old quarterbacks there are earning $10 million a year. He’s going to be very lucky if [a] NFL Commissioner Goodell decides to allow him to play, [b] some desperate team is willing to take the PR hit from animal loving fans, then maybe he might get a salary a bit above league minimum for a one year contract with lots of incentive pay. No guarantees, no signing bonus, he’ll have to earn every dollar by performance.

Elsewhere, a Pakistani Taliban leader claims the Binghamton attack was their doing. Um, the attack appears to have been done by an angry Vietnamese immigrant. Which seems a bit “outside the jurisdiction” of the Pakistan Taliban.

In Pittsburgh, a man claimed the government was going to take all our guns away, among other things. After killing three police officers, they did indeed take his guns away, but not for the reasons he’d claimed they would.

Ev Williams claims twitter is worth more than $1 billion.

The weatherman claims it is going to snow in Atlanta in April.

And a local blogger claims he’s going to try and post to his site daily. Well, weekly. Um, how about “more.”

But I wouldn’t believe any of these ridiculous claims.