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Wed. Dec 19, 2007

Tuna Time In Atlanta?

After the debacle of their quitter coach, I expected maybe the Falcons would come out last Sunday and show us something. They did. They showed their ass, in another undisciplined 30 point defeat. It placed an exclamation point at the end of “Yes, this is certainly the worst season ever!” Afterwards, I wondered what act could turn this around in anything less than three years.

Well, give Arthur Blank credit for acting swiftly and boldly. He’s asked Bill Parcells to oversee his football operations: “‘I think I probably will do it,’ Parcells told the Daily News by telephone.”

Excuse me for sounding a little gun shy, but we’ve recently had this problem with Falcons players and coaches who emit public claims which turn out to be far less than truthful. So the word “probably” sounds like a wielded taser. Probably just me, though. [Nope, not just me. Update below, there will be no ‘Lanta Tuna.]

Otherwise, it sounds serious. However, because of the role he’s taking, I don’t think you can say it’s going to be “Tuna Time” in Atlanta:

“I’m going to oversee the football operation,” Parcells told the Daily News. “I’m going to hire a general manager if the deal is finalized in Atlanta. We are going to hire a coach and talk to all the coaches who are there. It’s going to be a collective effort. The triangle is going to be the GM, the coach and Bill Parcells. I’m also going to include Rich McKay if he wants to stay in the business.

“Under no circumstances is Bill Parcells ever going to return to the field.

“I expect to speak to the Falcons today. It might be in person, but it won’t be in Atlanta,” Parcells said. “We have spoken about what the structure will be. We have some things to talk about. I will say this, I don’t think it’s anything real major.”

So, he won’t be the coach. Darn. I’d love to see the first confrontation between Parcells and DeAngelo Hall. There are already some doubters, but I think Parcells may bring a seriousness of focus, as well as an air of authority, that has been lacking in the long sorry history of Falcons football. At least, I hope so.

“He said Blank is a ‘nice man, a real nice man.’” Yes, he is. Please do not take advantage of it like Michael Vick and Bobby Petrino did. Because I think the next person who lies to Arthur Blank may pay a dear price.

This Just In: “After reaching an agreement to become executive vice president of the Falcons a day earlier, Bill Parcells backed out of the deal Wednesday, according to team owner Arthur Blank.” Sigh. It turns out the next person to lie to Arthur Blank was Bill “Cold Feet” Parcells. What’s a billionaire to do?