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What exactly is Paris Hilton’s “product�?

Yall please leave that softball sitting there on the tee…

I tee-up these softballs as a public service, Scott. C’mon, you know you want to take a swing…

I don’t know what her “product” is, but I can’t seem to get away from it anywhere, not even here, apparently (dang, whar’s the smiley key?).

Having spent 10 days in jail for possession of a joint when I was 18, I can empathize, if not sympathize with her. In jail time, five minutes lasts a couple of hours, so 3 days & nights would equal in real time, uh, ten, carry the four, about 18 months. Still, it seriously builds character, if not extreme aversion to returning. And I’m guessing Paris could use a little. I wonder if her 40 day house arrest is it, or, like me, she’ll get 5 years of probation, which could send her to the slammer if she so much as prances into any place selling alcohol.

Don’t feel bad for Paris. Feel bad for cable news. Covering Paris under house arrest couldn’t come close to “Day 10 and Paris gets bruised badly fighting over a piece of spam and slipping on spilled bug juice”.

I didn’t know being rich was a medical condition.

And her 40-day “house arrest” is more like a 40 day stay at a personalized spa & resort, with servants to attend every need and friends to hang out with and do blow. If this were Old School America, her house would’ve been burnt down by now and she’d have been tarred and feathered.

I generally avoid celebrity nonsense but . . .

This really pisses me off.

There is no justification for letting this person out of jail before the sentence is up. None. If I had illusions, I would be disillusioned. As it is, I’m just mad.

If the people in the media weren’t so damn spineless, they could punish PH (paris hilton, pissy heiress, poopy head- you pick) the way she really would feel- they could ignore the little priss.

Hopefully the judge out there will ship her back where she belongs, and make the statement that you can’t buy leniency (well, any more than she’s already bought). Then, maybe, hopefully, the media will get good sense and boycott any stories about her.

Nah. Never happen.

RT: “Still, it seriously builds character, if not extreme aversion to returning. And I’m guessing Paris could use a little.”

To be sure, but there is not a jail sentence long enough to build character in Paris Hilton.

Paul: “I didn’t know being rich was a medical condition.”

It’s often a genetically inherited condition. But many times the application of massive doses of alcohol, cocaine, and poorly chosen friends can cure it amazingly quickly.

Sir Fleshy: “generally avoid celebrity nonsense but … This really pisses me off”

Me, too, both on avoiding the nonsense and being pissed. That was the reason I vented this post. But, frankly, today it is getting hoot-a-licious.

Todd: “Hopefully the judge out there will ship her back where she belongs”

Yes, my “Poor Paris Pool” may be shut down by the judge who passed down her original sentence … which specifically said that “house arrest” was not an option for her. So he demanded she appear in court this morning. But it seems Paris and her crack team of legal beagles interpreted that to mean Paris could “phone it in.”

The judge apparently feels differently. Strongly so. He’s sent a couple of sheriff’s to drag her shiny white ass before His Honor.

Film at 11.

If it wasn’t for the fact that there really isn’t any important news going on anywhere in the world (or it would be on tv, right?) I’d feel guilty for constantly checking out msnbc.com for the “update at the courthouse”.

Looks like a kicking and screaming Paris was just taken back to jail. And it seems like the judge reinstated the original 45 days out of apparent irritation. Ooohhh, 45 days….four plus carry the ten…...that would be about six years in Paris Hilton time.

I was hoping she’d hang tough like an old friend of mine who was sentenced to 30 days for a political thing. He said to the judge, “30, 60, 90….no big deal.” The judge said, “how about 120?” My friend shrugged. “Bang!” went the gavel. “120 days.”

The second* hardest thing for a lawyer to do is to tell a client that, while something may work in the very short term, it’s just going to create more problems later.

An example: “I can convince the Sheriff to go along with house arrest, but that will almost definitely backfire and make everything worse.”

And when it backfires, you can’t even say “I told you so.”

.

* What’s the hardest thing for a lawyer to do? Firing a client like the Hilton family. Or Hirohito.

Wonkette managed to capture the whole episode nicely.

Oh, my, that is rather funny, and certainly makes the point. In a related note, as much as I dislike Martha Stewart, earlier today I couldn’t help but think at least she took her jail term like a man. Did her time with minimal whining. There’s probably not a jail tough enough to break that broad.

No one has stepped forward to answer my question about what exactly Ms. Hilton’s “product” is, but I suppose in some way she’s been America’s laughing stock, for profit, what with her and Nicole’s “Rich Fishies in a Peasant Stream” reality TV show.

But I think she’s turned the profit corner on that career. Now she’s just a laughing stock, no profit.

It was funny that someone mentioned Martha Stewart — only the court system could make someone so distasteful a sympathetic character. Best thing that ever happened to the womans career. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to be going as well for Ms. Hilton.

Still, as much as I loathe the cult of personality that builds around these nitwits I’m not convinced that Paris is at fault. Sure she carried on (what criminal doesn’t?) but the blame lies squarely with the system. If anything, Paris is being punished for her ‘celebrity’ status — in LA early release, very early release, is the norm for non-violent prisoners. In the end, she will serve more time in jail than most people charged with the same offense.

I have a bit of experience with this. Last summer I was incarcerated on a civil matter and while the judge specifically ordered me to serve the full sentence, the sheriff granted me time off for behaving. If they had thrown me back in the hoosecow the day after my release I too might have carried on a bit. Paris seems to be caught up in a very public pissing match between the court and the Sheriff’s department and I can understand why she might be a tad fragile at the moment. This system has chewed up and spit out people with far more character than Ms. Hilton.

Al, it’s really good to hear from you. In part, I understand what you’re saying regarding the battle between the judge and the sheriff. I’ve read some reports that judges have long felt the sheriffs are “resentencing” prisoners via these early releases, while the sheriffs say they have no choice because the system is overwhelmed. And it’s possible this “celebrity” case brought that to a head.

But as for “I’m not convinced that Paris is at fault” I’m going to have to quote Ed Morrisey at length:

Pardon me for injecting a little conservative thought into all of this, but I have very little sympathy for Ms. Hilton. She has had all of the advantages possible in society, and has shown herself contemptuous to any sense of responsibility. The screaming and crying jag in court only came after she had thrown away her chances to get lenient treatment by lying and evading responsibility for her actions.

Let’s not forget why Paris Hilton went to jail. Last January, Hilton got convicted of driving drunk. That killed 18,000 people last year; it’s no joke. Hilton didn’t have to serve a day in jail for it, either. She got 36 months probation and had her license suspended (in November 2006). She was also ordered into an alcohol education program.

Within a month, she had been arrested twice for driving without a license, and still had not entered the program as ordered. The city prosecuted her for violating her probation and the court order, and convicted her last month. Her defense? She blamed everyone but herself, and even at this last court proceeding, wanted to appear only by telephone. The judge had to order her brought to court.

Paris Hilton is no child. She’s twenty-six years old. She has all the money she needs to hire the best lawyers to represent her. For that matter, she had all the money she needed to hire a driver after her license got suspended. Not too many of us have those kinds of resources, but she does, and she decided to flout the law and her probation anyway.

That’s the part that gets me. She’s got the money to hire a platoon of drivers, but she simply had to drive herself. To clubs. Again and again, until she got caught, again and again.

I have sympathy for a lot of people who end up in jail for what seems to me to be unjust or at best petty reasons. Paris isn’t one of them.

Reid, I should have been clearer and happen to agree with Ed (now there’s a phrase I never thought I’d say).

She is, of course, entirely responsible for being in the courtroom to start with. However, I don’t think she bears the full responsibility for the circus this has turned into. If every judge was swayed by the tearful pleadings of convicted criminals there wouldn’t be anybody in jail.