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Mon. Jan 08, 2007

What's That Smell? It's Your News Channel

On Sunday, Fox News ramped up to Code Red when there was some confusion about a truck at the Port of Miami. From the sound of the talking heads on Fox, you’d think the city was about to explode. But ... it turns out it was a simple “miscommunication,” a language problem, and not anything sinister at all. However, it was good for a couple of hours of fair and balanced ScareTV.

Today, it’s CNN and New York. What’s that smell that stretches from Staten Island to Upper Manhattan? Why, isn’t that Eau de New York! No, this apparently is different. Fumes. The Mayor says it’s a gas leak at 6th and Bleeker. Con Ed says there is no leak at that location. Or anywhere. After hours of coverage, we know nothing more than we did at the start … something stinks in Manhattan (and, is that really “news”?)

But you can be sure that CNN will stay on the trail of that scent like a bloodhound. A bloodhound that never sleeps, and must have something to bark at us about, 24/7/365.

I’ve come to believe the biggest problem in the America today is 24 hours news networks who insist on telling us something, anything, every second of every day. It doesn’t have to be accurate. It doesn’t have to be informative. It just has to be something. Something we can wrap commercials around.

There’s simply not that much news. But, Lawd have mercy, if we open up another case of Baseless Speculation, and mix in a bottle of Scare Sauce, we can fill that hour easy.