The Daily Whim

The Daily Whim

Sat. Aug 26, 2006

Whitney Bin Laden

We should probably file this under “tabloid strength gossip,” but it’s too good to let pass without comment. With all else going on in our fractious world, the question I really want answered is … Did Osama Lust For Whitney?

Osama bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States – the world’s most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he’s even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.

Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden’s sex slave, writes in her autobiography, “Diary of a Lost Girl,” which is excerpted in the September Harper’s: “He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen [...] He said he wanted to give [her] a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. He explained to me that to possess Whitney, he would be willing to break his color rule and make her one of his wives.”

NY Post: “Did Osama Lust For Whitney?”

Of course, people are having fun with this:

It could just be a calculated infidel plot to discredit Osama. My question is, what took them so long? This could be one of the more egregious examples of the failures of U.S. intelligence agencies in the post-9/11 era. It took them this long to fire up a disinformation campaign to make Osama look silly?

Or maybe [Bobby Brown] just takes Osama aside for a little man-to-man about what life with La Whitney is really like, and when Osama’s jaw drops, Agent Bobby lobs in a big fizzing cartoon stick of TNT.

Jules Crittenden: “A Jihadi in Love”

Now, Osama wouldn’t be the first man to lust after Whitney … but he might be among the last, if you’ve seen any recent photos of her. As for “what life with La Whitney is really like,” after watching maybe a half dozen episodes of “Being Bobby Brown,” I couldn’t help but wonder if Osama wouldn’t be doin’ Bobby a solid.

Can’t you just hear Bobby at the press conference announcing he was filing for divorce? “Listen, the man was about to put a fatwa on my ass, and I can’t have that, so I had to divorce her. I mean, Whitney and I had some good years together, but, um, I’d like to have some good years left myself, if ya know what I mean. So, Peace … Out.

This could be the best break in the War on Terror since Tora Bora. Or, just a good out for Bobby.

Peanut Gallery

1  Reid wrote:

Man, can I call it or what? They’re peddling the line that Whitney is filing for divorce. But I think we all know what’s really going on here.

Osama done broke up Bobby and Whitney.

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