Wed. Aug 16, 2006
Breaking News Farce
It’s about 11am. I’m working with CNN on in the background, and there’s a “breaking news” flash that a plane flying from London to DC has been diverted to Boston, after three passengers got into a confrontation with the flight crew. That’s the story on CNN and Fox as well, as of about 11:15am.
No, wait, it was just one woman who had an “anxiety attack.”
No, wait, we’ve got an update: it was one woman who had vaseline, a big screwdriver, and two notes that referenced Al Qaeda.
Oh, yeah, one of the notes was in Arabic, too. Boo!
There’s a rumor that she also had matches, but the CNN anchor scrupulously informs us that CNN can’t confirm that … while at the same instant, “matches” are displayed in the caption on screen as one of the items CNN reports the woman had.
I watched the passengers get off the plane, completely empty handed, and be put out on a bus. They looked neither very happy, nor very scared.
Then I watched airport workers drag ... literally … suitcases off the baggage carriers and toss them … literally … into neat rows of escalating length that looked like a Cingular commercial. After being dragged and tossed, these potentially bomb laden objects were then gone over by the dogs.
Meanwhile, CNN has a “terror analyst” on the phone, and in mid yap, he stops to ask the anchor, “did the passengers come off the plane on chutes?” Um, Sparky, it’s been on TV live for half an hour. Clearly, this is a man “in the know,” and we must hear more of his trenchant terror analysis.
“Just In” ... um, it appears the woman didn’t have Vaseline. Or a big screwdriver. Or two notes referencing Al Qaeda. And it turns out one of the non-existent notes wasn’t in Arabic.
It was simply a 60 year old woman who became “unruly.”
At least, that’s the story as of 11:58am. Check back in a few minutes. The news is ever changing, and sooner or later, one of the versions they tell us will be true.
Published 12:07PM, Wed, Aug 16 2006
Category: TV News Events
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Peanut Gallery
Yeah, I saw that earlier … and had the thought: “Coming soon to an airport near you … underwear bombs.”
”... sooner or later, one of the versions they tell us will be true.”
Or, you know, not.
Blech.
There are times I’m actually grateful for not having cable tv. Thanks for reminding me.
And it turns out one of the non-existent notes wasn’t in Arabic.
Dear God man! What language was it in?!!?
Dear God man! What language was it in?!!?
Speaking in tongues, mayhaps?
Who knows? Between that news tidbit and the overkill on the arrest of a suspect in the JonBenet case, I’ve given up news for Lent. Never mind that Lent doesn’t start until next year – I’m giving it up, I tell you…
Our media is merely doing their assigned fearmongering duties. What’s the matter, LadyNiniane, are you afraid to be scared? That’s rather UnAmerican, isn’t it?
As for Creepy Karr, why, we always need fresh new killers for the media to elevate to the level of celebrity. It’s what they do, provide needy and creepy types like Karr with more fame and attention than they ever dreamed.
Of course, they also did it back when they thought one of the Ramsey’s was the killer, too. You might say the Ramsey’s “got Jeweled.” Don’t expect any more shame than they’ve shown for that when/if it comes out that Creepy Karr isn’t the real killer.
Unlike you, I haven’t given up news for Lent (I’m not sure Southern Baptists can do that, can they?). But I now view it as an evolution, a series of drafts.
When I first hear a story that sounds SCAREY and FEARFUL, I give it the level of attention I’d give a pencil sketch on a cocktail napkin. A glance, at best. Because I know that over the course of a day or so, that “sketch” will be colored in, erased, recolored, fleshed out, and eventually become a near photographic reality … that does not resemble the original cocktail sketch at all.
When it comes to news stories, I’ve become like my old photo instructor when I presented a “completed” photo: “That’s a good start. Bring it back when you’re finished.”
Try the “Window Rule”
Look out the window. Is your reaction “wow, what in the hell is going on out there?!”
If so you have two options: 1) go outside and check on it; or 2) crawl under the sofa Bernie Shaw-style and turn the TV on.
Otherwise, let it sit for a while. Like a hot pie.
Ralph Wiggum once said of cable news: “it tastes like burning…”
Unlike you, I haven’t given up news for Lent (I’m not sure Southern Baptists can do that, can they?). But I now view it as an evolution, a series of drafts.
Sure they can, at least if they’ve back-slid a bit like me. (I answer to the Methodist persuasion most days now, but I was raised SB – even have relatives that are still very much part of the organization.)
And, yes, I agree that news is an ongoing thing most days, now. As fleshy noted, if what I see out the window warrants a closer look, I turn on the news in some form to check it out.
Of course, lately that has consisted mostly of checking the Weather Channel for the latest watches and warnings. That has been the sum total of news around here this summer. You may recall that I live near St. Louis, home of the week-long power failures. Three days for us this time (hmm, there’s a pattern there – third time in three years), but my mother-in-law was out for 5, and my boss lived without power for 8 very long days in 100+ heat.
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