PhotoDude.com

Wed. Mar 01, 2006

Naked Solutions, Emphasized

Curmudgeon Alert: a cranky posting, just because the crankiness has gotta go somewhere. Somewhere hopefully non-damaging (I’ve wanted to bitch-slap certain “medical professionals” over the past few days).

If you are a patron of the online casino who sees fit to disrupt every major sporting event including the closing ceremonies of the Olympics with either ugly streakers or microphone jostling hecklers, karma now dictates you will lose your ass, and I hope that it’s twice as ugly as the one their streaker bares on TV. I must repeat my advice:

“Personally, I think it’s time to get medieval on this kind of ‘promotion.’ Give them what they want … attention. But of a different variety. Add maybe $500 to your security costs by purchasing a 100 gallon tub, fill it with ice water and permanent purple dye, and hire four big guys to man it. When the Walking Casino Spammer makes his appearance as a Near Naked Billboard, they would spring into action. Strip him naked. Pass the URL painted on him to a team of bored and hormone-filled teen hackers before scrubbing it off him with a harsh horse hair brush. Dunk him in the ice dye. Thoroughly. Repeatedly. Then dump his naked permanently purple ass on the streets outside the stadium, and go back to the game.”

I’m now thinking we should spread the punishment to patrons of this online casino. Charge: contributory aesthetic assault on society.

If Reid were King, I promise you the punishments would be frequent, capricious, but ever so entertaining. And that Bode Miller dude would never have been allowed back in the country. Go live in Slackerland. Oops, you already do…