Mon. Aug 15, 2005
Sound Infliction, #1
I have no displayable musical skills whatsoever. My musical training consists of about three months of trumpet lessons in the sixth grade (they didn’t “take”). Oh, and as a teenager, I taught myself the rock and roll minimum for playing guitar, three chords … as long as the song allows lots of time to switch from one to the other. But thanks to the purchase of a Mac Mini loaded with the program Garageband, none of that matters. Who needs talent, skills, or training when it can be replaced with some computing power, some loops, some software, and a lot of mouse clicking? And thus, I get to inflict the result on you, Dear
Aren’t computers great?
For some, I imagine this is somewhat like podcasting is for me. I’ve been trying to write an article about podcasting since May, but I can’t bring myself to finish listening to the podcasts. Due to nearly a decade in radio, it’s painful listening. Likewise, for anyone with any musical skills, talent, or training … this is probably gonna hurt.
Garageband is a software form of crack. It has the right mix of simplicity and complexity to allow you to quickly get rolling, and do more as you learn more. It has kept me up way too late over the weekend. But I’m still a rookie, both at putting songs* together from loops (that’s right, nothing but loops … anything else would require talent), and in the mixing process (mine’s a bit more distorted than was intended). I don’t even know how to properly bring a song to an end (so I made it an inside joke).
As I started making my first song, I thought, “you know, this is probably going to sound like a really bad version of Nine Inch Nails.” So I named it “Half Inch Tacks.” But as it developed, it ended up sounding more like a very stoned Joe Satriani, backed by a drunken Crazy Horse, as produced by a burned out Giorgio Moroder. Except … a really amateur version of that.
Have a laugh: Download “Half Inch Tacks” MP3 (4.6MB, 3:25) Update: as of 8/23, this download links a much better mix than the original
* Referring to this construct as a “song” is semantically false, as a song has a structure and goes somewhere