Fri. Oct 15, 2004
You're Hurting Us
I just watched one of the most genuine heartfelt and hilarious moments I’ve ever seen on CNN. Jon Stewart was appearing with Paul Begala and Tucker Carlson on Crossfire, and he just absolutely lambasted them, repeatedly calling them “partisan hacks,” repeatedly saying, “you’re hurting us.” He said it in his usual non-threatening and jovial tone … but he wasn’t joking. At times his hands were shaking.
I wish I had a tape of it (later: it’s now available for download). It was a classic segment. It was like watching someone say all the things you wanted to say. CNN’s jumbled transcript doesn’t do it justice, but I’ve made an effort to clean it up and offer a lengthy chunk of the excerpts I found striking.
Edited transcript begins here:
STEWART: ...And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.
BEGALA: We have noticed.
STEWART: And I wanted to — I felt that that wasn’t fair and I should come here and tell you that I don’t — it’s not so much that it’s bad, as it’s hurting America.
CARLSON: But in its defense…
(CROSSTALK)
STEWART: Here’s just what I wanted to tell you guys.
CARLSON: Yes.
STEWART: Stop.
STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.
STEWART: [...] See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you’re helping the politicians and the corporations. And we’re left out there to mow our lawns.
BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we’re too rough on them when they make mistakes.
STEWART: No, no, no, you’re not too rough on them. You’re part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.
CARLSON: [...] When politicians come on … It’s nice to get them to try and answer the question. And in order to do that, we try and ask them pointed questions. I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry recently.
(CROSSTALK)
CARLSON: ... up on the screen.
STEWART: If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you’re more than welcome to … If that’s your goal … I wouldn’t aim for us. I’d aim for “Seinfeld.” That’s a very good show.
CARLSON: Kerry won’t come on this show. He will come on your show.
STEWART: Right.
CARLSON: Let me suggest why he wants to come on your show.
STEWART: Well, we have civilized discourse.
STEWART: [...] You know, it’s interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility … I didn’t realize that — and maybe this explains quite a bit … is that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity … So what I would suggest is, when you talk about you’re holding politicians’ feet to fire, I think that’s disingenuous. I think you’re…
CARLSON: “How are you holding up?” I mean, come on.
(CROSSTALK)
STEWART: No, no, no. But my role isn’t, I don’t think…
CARLSON: But you can ask him a real question, don’t you think, instead of saying…
(CROSSTALK)
STEWART: I don’t think I have to. By the way, I also asked him, “Were you in Cambodia?” But I didn’t really care.
STEWART: But my point is this. If your idea of confronting me is that I don’t ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we’re in bad shape, fellows.
CARLSON: We’re here to love you, not confront you.
(CROSSTALK)
CARLSON: We’re here to be nice.
STEWART: No, no, no, but what I’m saying is this. I’m not. I’m here to confront you, because we need help from the media and they’re hurting us.
BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is … that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: Well, it’s because, see, we’re a debate show.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great. But that’s like saying pro wrestling is a show about athletic competition.
CARLSON: Jon, Jon, Jon, I’m sorry. I think you’re a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.
STEWART: Now, this is theater. It’s obvious. How old are you?
CARLSON: Thirty-five.
STEWART: And you wear a bow tie?
CARLSON: Now, come on.
STEWART: Now, listen, I’m not suggesting that you’re not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.
CARLSON: They’re difficult.
STEWART: But the thing is that this — you’re doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.
BEGALA: We do, do…
STEWART: It’s not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery.
CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you’re accusing us of partisan hackery?
STEWART: You’re on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?
CARLSON: Well, I’m just saying, there’s no reason for you — when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy’s butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It’s embarrassing.
STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one.
CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.
STEWART: No. No. I’m not going to be your monkey … I watch your show every day. And it kills me.
CARLSON: I can tell you love it.
STEWART: It’s so — oh, it’s so painful to watch.
STEWART: You know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy.
CARLSON: Is this really Jon Stewart? What is this, anyway?
STEWART: Yes, it’s someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore … I just can’t.
CARLSON: I do think you’re more fun on your show. Just my opinion.
CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans…
STEWART: You know what’s interesting, though? You’re as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
(read the whole transcript, if you wish)
And there you have it. One media figure calling two other media figures on the carpet, even rubbing their nose in their own poop, right in their own house. Stewart was on the show to plug his new book. Other than one mention by Carlson in his introduction, he never said a word about it. He was busy beatin’ the band.
Later: Carlson was contacted for comments by TVNewser:
CNN Crossfire host Tucker Carlson was taken aback by Jon Stewart’s rant on the debate show today. “I’ve never seen a more sanctimonious comedian,” he says in an e-mail to TVNewser. “What a boor.”
I asked Carlson if Stewart had “slammed” the two hosts. “Slammed us? The transcript may read that way,” he said. “But I think the tape makes it clear he humiliated himself.”
Thus, Carlson gives us a prime working example of exactly what Stewart was talking about. What they do is not honest, and is pure Spin Theater.
Bow Tie Boy, I saw the entire thing live in my living room, I didn’t need no steenkin’ transcript. There was indeed buckets of sanctimony and humiliation on your stage … but that blood on the floor didn’t belong to Stewart. It was yours.
The saddest part is how you brought it on yourself. Stewart started off calmly, and gave you plenty of openings to have a serious discussion. But you both got defensive, started slapping back, and discovered (perhaps for the first time) that certain people can’t be cowed into playing your game.
You deserved every syllable of what you got, and to those of us watching, it’s clear who was humiliated. And no volume of your typical after-the-event spin can change that. It just makes you look smaller and more petty than you already do.
Published 04:09PM, Fri, Oct 15 2004
Category: Politics TV
Previous: «« The L Word ««
Next: »» Pondering the Polls »»
Peanut Gallery
There are a slew of links (direct download and torrents) on the Kos thread.
And MTV says Jon Stewart Bitchslaps CNN’s ‘Crossfire’ Show
I’m afraid I have to agree with MTV.
They invited him on for a little ‘make nice’ session and he went after them like a rabid pit bull. I tend to agree with much of what he said and would go as far as to say it applies to every talking head on network television. Stewart, Letterman and Leno are at least bipartisan in their contempt.
It says something, I’m not sure what, about us when an entertainer on Comedy Central has more credibility than CNN, Fox and CBS.
[Disclaimer: I have not watched broadcast television in three years. We simply do not have it available in my home and I couldn’t if I wanted to.]
Al, you can watch it if you want. You have to sit through a stupid commercial first, but watching Tucker’s bow tie spin around and Begala’s cheesy grin crack is worth it. Jon Stewart is my hero.
Thanks, Kevin.
I said I didn’t watch broadcast television. However, I have a fat pipe, a boatload of processing power and several BitTorrent clients installed :)
It works out well, I can download The Sopranos, CSI, Six Feet Under, Stargate and the occasional news program without too much trouble.
Our not having television is more a logistical/financial thing than a philosophical thing—I’m pretty deep in the woods and there is no cable and a mini-dish would require 300 feet of cable and a tower to get the shot I need over the ridge.
It’s not impossible, but not cheap and not a priority.
Regardless of whether or not I agree with Jon Stewart about anything else, he’s dead right about this. Crossfire and its ilk should be ashamed, but I suspect they’re shameless.
Yes, Joel, judging by Carlson’s after show response that I added at the end of the article, they are completely shameless. He went right to spinning: “I think the tape makes it clear he humiliated himself.”
The “tape” is probably the hottest download on the Net this weekend. And people aren’t sucking down its double digit file size to see Begala and Carlson humiliate Jon Stewart. Quite the opposite.
After encountering such an unexpected and jarring intellectual experience, one would think that a Thinking Man might ponder this critique with some seriousness. Not simply dismiss it with spin-filled ad hominem, and again prove you’ve run out of argument.
Carlson is like a modern day Theodoric of York :
Theodoric of York: Maybe non-partisan debate that didn’t sink to mere shouted talking points and party-line spin could make a difference in this most important election. Maybe Paul and I could be the start of a new media conciousness of responsibility, a new age, an age of rebirth, a Renaissance! [ thinks for a minute ] Naaaaaahhh!
Theodoric of York: A little bloodletting and some boar’s vomit, and he’ll be fine!
The bitchslapping was officially complete at this line:
“Stewart: You’re on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. What is wrong with you?”
I’ve always enjoyed Stewart, because he’s smart and funny. I’ve seen lots of complaints about his partisanship, but have never taken them too seriously because there’s nothing wrong with partisanship, on TV or elsewhere, and complaints about imbalance are for the weak-minded.
But, put in perspective, he’s on an entertainment show, and he knows it. His hands are forever clean in this matter, I say. Carlson should have said something like “Golly – you’re right. Is there anything else we can talk about?”
Just downloaded it, and ss a journalist myself I have to say: That was pretty gawddam amazing.
To of the (so called) hottest shots of american cable news getting walked all over by a comedian.
Says a thing or two about the state of political journalism in the US of A.
... and now back to Your regular broadcasting.
P.S.: The absolutely most amazing thing was that Carlson and Begala didn’t see it coming. They thought they’d invited Stewart in for a couple of cheap laughs and that’d be it – and then they where – yes – bitchslapped all over their place.
My God. Stewart for president?
Regards.
... please forget the typo’s. I’m on CET+1 :-)
Regards.
The ratings for CNN and shows like Crossfire illuminate the issue. People don’t like those shows. Folks seeking information want to hear good questions and non-spin answers.
They also appreciate it when the interviewer is tough but polite.
Crossfire is just noise.
In a clear sign that Stewart hit his target squarely and smartly, Bow Tie Boy still can’t let it go. Days later, he’s still making slappy. “Carlson noted that many of the great comedians kept their political opinions to themselves, not for fear of offending anyone, but because it could hurt their art.”
Funny. Replace the word “art” with “profession,” and you could say the very same thing about people who claim to be journalists. Like Tucker “Pot-Kettle-Black” Carlson.
On the Daily Show’s closing “Moment of Zen” last night, they showed Carville and Novak still chewing over the epsidoe. Carville called Stewart a “pompous ass” (more pot-kettle-black). Novak pontificated that not only was Stewart not funny (an opinion contradicted by the Crossfire audience, which seemed to laugh quite a bit), but he was also uninformed. Not that I buy it, but “uninformed” would certainly be less of a fault in my book than deliberate, selective ignorance or any of the other forms of intellectual whoredom generally displayed by Novak and his ilk.
Yeah, I saw that, too. I also watched Crossfire yesterday afternoon. At least Carville was willing to admit he was indeed a partisan hack … before calling Stewart a pompous ass.
But how can they expect to win against a guy who simply takes your ongoing pompous insults and runs them on his own show as a “closing brander”... as if with pride! Just give up, guys. You’re overmatched, and he’s got weapons you can’t use on your show … even if you possessed them (i.e., sarcasm, irony, and a razor sharp wit).
His weekend? ”...got a haircut, called a guy a dick on national TV…”
I also liked during other bits when he would suddenly stop and give a non-sequiter to the camera … “you, know, I didn’t mean that just Tucker was a dick, I meant the other three, too. I didn’t want them to feel slighted.” And later he did another non-sequiter … “And Bob Novak, you know, they say he broke his hip, but I don’t think that’s what it was. I think his hip tried to escape.”
In the great scheme of things, it’s a pretty inconsequential thing. But for me, it was some of the best TV I’ve witnessed this year.
But you know if your show is getting lousy ratings and you can get another higher rated show to talk about you,it helps.
If PhotoDude hated my site and talked about it, how bad it was etc, people would go check it out. Watch Crossfire get a small ratings bump out of this. If those guys are smart, they will not let it go. Also Stewart may pick up a few viewers who had not seen his show. After all we are going into sweeps. How well these guys do will affect what they can charge for advertising.
Yikes!
Stewart was on target but not at all the concerned person he pretends to be. Like most others inhis line of work he is only in it for the money, and this little stunt has made him plenty.
Your remarks about Kathy Cox and evolution, though outdated, remain current because of the subject.
I have studied the history of evolutionism and took more science in college than required, plus reading all the old evolution masters. I never cease to be amazed at how the hypothesis ever got off the ground except by sheer imagination and political clout.
All Ms. Cox was doing was to require attention to a subject that desperately needs more attention. Why would any fair minded person resist more study? Her opponents proved their prejudicial judgments by claiming foul.
Evolutionism, per se, is probably the greatest hoax ever foisted on an ignorant population.
So, John, if you were at a party where we’re all talking about Jon Stewart and the media, and then you barge in with an entirely unrelated comment about your strident views on evolution … how do you think the people at the party would react?
Probably by launcing into an interesting discussion of the Sumerian/Babylonian creation myths and why they should be taught in schools as they are the source material for much of Genesis.
You can then launch into a discussion of literary criticism and how it’s related to the editing of the books of the Bible into the form we see today, whereupon we would learn that most of Genesis and Exodus were composed and edited during the Babylonian exile, drawing much material from the local creation myths.
This would then lead to a discussion of how a cosomology fashioned by Judean Priests exiled in Babylon during the 6th Century B.C. for Judeans exiled in Babylon during the 6th Century B.C. came to be accepted by a group of American gentiles in the 21st Century as an alternative explanation of the Universe that should be taught as Science in public schools instead of in Literature alongside the Epic of Gilgamesh.
And if you listen closely enough, you can hear the silent laughter of Nebudchanezzer echoing from the depths of time.
And for the record, the notion of Nobility is the greatest hoax ever foisted upon an ignorant population.
I think my wife would just start talking about cats.



It’s here.