PhotoDude.com

Fri. Feb 13, 2004

Canada's War on Racist Puppets

Canada’s War on Racist Puppets – This week, I’ve been watching Conan O’Brien broadcast his show from Toronto each night, and I’ve wondered why he ended up choosing that city. It turns out that the federal and local governments pitched in $1 million to make it happen. Now some of them want that money back, all because of an arrogant hunk of painted plastic on the end of some guy’s arm.

Otherwise known as, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.

So Triumph went out on to the streets of Toronto, and did his thing. I want to emphasize, [1] Triumph is a hand puppet, and [2] Triumph is an ”Insult Comic,” like Don Rickles, only a lot funnier. Amazingly, people ended up getting … insulted: ”Alexa McDonough, a legislator for the left-leaning New Democrats, described the program as ’racist filth’ and ’utterly vile’” and other sputtering that essentially says, we were stupid to spend taxpayer money to bring a TV show to town, and now we want our money back.

Because of a hand puppet.

Whatever could have come out of those …. fingers? Well, watching it, I thought it was hilarious. I’ve seen Triumph skewer everyone from Bon Jovi to Star Wars fans. He’s hilarious in his own vicious way, and this time, the target of his humor was the French Canadians: ”So you’re French and Canadian, yes? So you’re obnoxious and dull.”

You have to understand, he was ”interviewing” people who didn’t speak English. There was no way for them to actually be insulted by his accented Puppet-English. So he got a translator, and came back to the same guy to whom he’d uttered the above. He did the whole joke again, and when translated, the guy busted out laughing (he sort of had the hots for the translator).

He did have an ugly encounter with one stereotypically arrogant looking man (this guy), who, again, spoke no English other than ”Booosh,” said with a sneer. When he stomped off, Triumph shouted after him, ”You’re in North America … Learn the language!”

”One bewildered man was asked if the Canadian health care system had provisions for ’personality implants.’ Yet another, a rotund fellow who seemed to be a separatist, was told: ’Maybe you should try separating yourself from donuts first.’”

”The very angry pooch then took it upon himself to rename certain streets, throwing up quaint Euro-style signs inscribed with words such as, ’Rue des Pussies,’ ’Céline Dion Sucks,’ and ’Eat Me Frenchie.’”

And one they missed: he apologized to one of the French Canadians he was ”interviewing” by saying, ”I’m sorry, I’ve only learned a few basic French phrases. Like, ’I surrender.’” Even his translator busted out laughing.

I don’t blame anyone who is upset that their government spent seven figures to bring a late night TV show to town for five days. I would be.

But I wouldn’t blame it on a hand puppet. Because that would make me look silly. Just like the hand puppet wanted.

As Triumph might say, if you can’t take a joke, I poop on you!

Later: In the Toronto Star, Vinay Menon says ”We’re acting like doggone wussies” (emphasis mine): ”Personally, I’m outraged, disappointed and embarrassed. But at the reaction. Unlike the NDP’s Alexa McDonough who called Thursday’s satirical sketch ’vile and vicious’ I can’t believe this country was successfully baited by a damn hand puppet [...] Triumph went for a nerve. We gave him the reaction every comedian dreams of getting. The only notable thing about his attack was that it became notable.”