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Sat. Feb 07, 2004

Jonah and His Partisan Whale

Jonah and His Partisan Whale – I don’t read Jonah Goldberg much. Of my highly partisan options, he’s one of the less entertaining ones. But I do read Michael Totten, that wishy-washy schticky ”independent,” and he points us to Jonah’s effort to divide America into two orderly piles: ”It’s one of the funnier ironies of American presidential politics that the people who fancy themselves to be the most politically informed boast the silliest rationale for how they vote. I’m referring of course to ’independents.’”

”Being undecided, in and of itself, is not a mark of seriousness or intelligence. If you really are undecided between having a bowl of strawberry ice cream and being smacked in the forehead with a garden rake, you’re not very intelligent; you’re just very, very stoopid.”

”No, I’m not saying that all undecideds are dumb, and I’m not saying that the choices in presidential elections are as cut-and-dried as the strawberry ice cream versus the garden-rake smack. But what I am saying is that the rush to show one’s independence of mind in contests between Republican and Democratic candidates usually stems from intellectual vanity and insecurity, not intellectual discernment or rigor.”

This is the problem with so many partisan viewpoints. It’s just all so clear to them, black and white. They can understand (and mock) those who disagree with them (black), and easily recognize their brethren (white), but who are all these miscolored grey people? From my personal viewpoint, it’s not quite so clear cut.

On foreign policy I’m a distinct hawk (and was long before 9/11), who supported regime change in Iraq. I must be a Republican.

When it comes to social and domestic policies, I’m pretty liberal, and do not believe we need to amend the Constitution to define marriage. So I must be a Democrat.

I believe strongly in a balanced budget, and fiscal responsibility. I must be a Republican … no, I can’t even fake saying that with a straight face, given slashed taxes coupled with a 20% increase in discretionary spending, and a half trillion dollar deficit in the upcoming budget. But you know what I’m trying to say.

I’m pro-choice. That makes me a Democrat, right?

There’s just four hot button issues, and my collected views can find no match in either party. Pray tell, Jonah, what should I call myself? What approved label would you give me?

Andrew Sullivan, noted gay Republican (and that’s gotta chap the purist partisan), recently asked, ”Why can’t a grown-up have a complicated position? I’m a fiscal conservative, social/cultural liberal and foreign policy hawk. Neither party provides a comfortable home for people like me.”

It sounds like Andrew and I have more in common than Jonah and Andrew do, despite that ”Republican” label. And you can easily find those formerly identified as ”Democrats” who no longer feel the party ”provides a comfortable home,” yet aren’t ready to paint themselves red. People like Andrew, Michael and I aren’t random free electrons who’ve lost a nucleus to circle. In some ways, we’ve formed a new one, if a loose one. And as the two poles of politics harden their messages and positions, they shake loose more ”free electrons.”

Those who view the political world as black and white are blinded into thinking the upcoming election is a 50-50 proposition. As I’ve said before, it’s more like 40-40-20. And it’s the 20 that’s going to determine the next President. But keep on preaching to your 40 in the choir. And be sure to toss out some insults for the 20 outside the door.

”But in a presidential contest between even a moderate Democrat and a moderate Republican, the idea that it’s a very hard decision to choose between the parties strikes me as batty [...] Which gets me to the point of this inverted pyramid of a column. The time to be discerning to pore over every jot and detail of a candidate’s platform is not during the general election, but during the primaries. By the time a candidate wins the nomination, you’re voting for Democrats versus Republicans, not for George W. Bush versus Al Gore.”

I have six words to answer ”you’re voting for Democrats versus Republicans.” Democrat: Zell Miller, Republican: David Duke. Who ya gonna vote for, Jonah?

What do you mean that’s not fair, they are both outside their party’s mainstream? All we’re saying is, so are we.

”In other words, ’partisanship’ isn’t always about mindlessly belonging to a club. Sometimes it’s about mindfully fighting for the philosophy that best describes your view of where the nation should be going.”

All we’re saying is, so are we. I think this nation should have a defense strong enough some might even call it an ”offense,” civil unions and the right to choose for all, and a balanced budget … now, not in 10 years. Find me a party, Jonah. I’ll buy the drinks.

And I’ll leave you with Jonah’s telling final line: ”I don’t run into a lot of people who call themselves compassionate conservatives, except as a joke.” Neither do I. It’s truly a shame the President tried to start a new political philosophy, and a mere three years later, it’s seen as a joke by everyone.

As it’s now clear to everyone, it should have been seen as a joke from the moment it came out of his mouth. Even Jonah admits it. Now that’s partisan loyalty.