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Sun. Feb 01, 2004

Georgia, Now Evolution Free!

Georgia, Now Evolution Free! – In the perversely ongoing battle for the title of “Worst PR of the Year,” Georgia has moved into the lead, courtesy of a woman by the name of Kathy Cox: “The state’s school superintendent has proposed striking the word evolution from Georgia’s science curriculum and replacing it with the phrase ‘biological changes over time.’”

“The change is included in more than 800 pages of draft revisions to Georgia’s curriculum that have been posted by the Department of Education on its Web site. The middle and high school standards are expected to be voted on by the state Board of Education in May, after public feedback.”

As a long time resident of Georgia, Ms. Cox, consider this my public feedback. Your proposal is 100 pounds of partisan idiocy in a 50 pound bag, bringing nothing but embarrassment to the citizens of Georgia. However, some might consider that a loaded term. So in the course of this screed, I won’t be using the word “idiocy,” but will replace it with the phrase “a curious lack of interaction between brain cells.”

“Superintendent Kathy Cox said the concept of evolution would still be taught under the proposal, but the word would not be used [...] Cox repeatedly referred to evolution as a ‘buzzword’ Thursday and said the ban was proposed, in part, to alleviate pressure on teachers in socially conservative areas where parents object to its teaching.”

A “buzzword”?

C’mon, Ms. Cox, let’s go to school. Get out your Merriam-Webster’s:
buzz·word noun (1946)
1 : an important-sounding usu. technical word or phrase often of little meaning used chiefly to impress laymen
2 : a voguish word or phrase � called also buzz phrase

I would note that “buzzword” came into existence in 1946. Now, let’s look up “evolution” (I will edit it to only the relevant definitions):
evo·lu·tion noun (1622)
4 a : the historical development of a biological group (as a race or species) : phylogeny
b : a theory that the various types of animals and plants have their origin in other preexisting types and that the distinguishable differences are due to modifications in successive generations
6 : a process in which the whole universe is a progression of interrelated phenomena

Oh, my. it would appear the word “evolution” has been in usage 324 years longer than the word Ms. Cox used “repeatedly” to describe it … “buzzword.”

Shall we ban “buzzword,” and replace it with “a phrase of little meaning often used to demean larger concepts”? Charles Darwin’s concepts have been know to the world for centuries. They’ve been taught in Georgia for decades. This is not some controversial new concept that suddenly has parents in an uproar, like “new math” or “phonics.”

But you want uproar? We got it, from all sides, as Ms. Cox’s little word games have captured interest across the country. Thanks, Kathy! Even the highly religious Jimmy Carter had to step forward and point out this, er, “curious lack of interaction between brain cells”: “As a Christian, a trained engineer and scientist, and a professor at Emory University, I am embarrassed by Superintendent Kathy Cox’s attempt to censor and distort the education of Georgia’s students. Nationwide ridicule of Georgia’s public education system will be inevitable if this proposal is adopted.”

Would you prefer a more “Old Testament” viewpoint? “Rabbi Hillel Norry of Shearith Israel, a Conservative Jewish synagogue in Atlanta, called the proposal to remove references to evolution absurd. ‘This is an effort to force the public to conform to the ideas and comfort level of only one segment of the population: those that are biblical literalist,’ Norry said.”

Did I hear someone ask for a biblical literalist?: “Pastor William Sheals of Hopewell Baptist Church in Norcross suggested that a true Christian cannot believe in evolution.”

Goodness, whatever happened to “judge not lest ye be judged”? Is it possible that the Creator and the manner in which He made this world are far more complex than mere man can comprehend?

Nah.

Better to assume you know the mind of God, exactly how this wondrous place came into being, perhaps even down to the year it happened, and therefore have the ability to judge the beings He created as unworthy of the title “Christian” (you know, the ones who are supposed to be about forgiveness and inclusion). Pastor, if I may put this in the literalist terms you might understand, the only judgement I will accept about whether I am a true Christian will come from Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates.

All others need not apply. You’re not qualified. Not even in a fractional sense.

But on this Earth, at this time, it appears we can (for now) trust the judgment of a higher authority than Ms. Cox or Pastor Sheals: “Gov. Sonny Perdue said Saturday the word ‘evolution’ should stay in science textbooks used by Georgia students, his first effort to quell a firestorm of controversy swirling around a volatile blend of religion and science.”

”’If you’re going to teach evolution, you ought to call it evolution,’ the Republican governor said during an interview with The Atlanta Journal-Constitution [...] ‘I think that Superintendent Cox . . . will listen to the people on these proposals. In this business you don’t get the privilege of thinking out loud. And I think Superintendent Cox was thinking out loud.’”

I think that’s Southern Politico-Speak for “I ain’t sure I’d a’said that, if I wuz you.” The governor was at first reluctant to take a stand on this, but the direction the wind was blowing became quickly obvious. At gale force. He’s come down on the right side, and one can only hope Ms. Cox will at the very least snap to attention now that her Dear Party Leader has said his piece.

But it’s not just about evolution, folks: “Cox has already caught flak for a history curriculum that, in high school U.S. history classes, starts in 1876, ignoring biggies like the Civil War. In world history courses, students won’t cover anything earlier than 1500—you know, material like Socrates and Roman civilization.”

What do you mean a guy rode a horse to warn the British were coming? Valley Forge, is that a new rap group? No way, the White House has never been set on fire by enemy forces. The US had a war with Mexico? Are you nuts? You expect me to believe that most of the land west of the Mississippi used to belong .. to France? When you tell me that back during this thing you call “The Civil War,” the average enlisted soldier was only 5’6” and 125 pounds, do you actually expect me to believe that in the past 140 years we’ve … evolved? [at this point, the recent graduate of the Georgia education system passes out from sensory overload]

As a long time student of history, I can’t fathom a system that teaches less than half of the subject. It’s like teaching kids addition and subtraction, and deciding that’s all they need. They can pick up multiplication and division somewhere else.

My guess is that this has less to do with what’s best for Georgia’s kids and more to do with Ms. Cox’s plans for her political future. Whether she’s up for reelection in 2006 or runs for some other office, as a Georgia voter, I promise to remember her efforts on this issue.