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Tue. Jan 27, 2004

First Amendment Take Down

First Amendment Take Down – (via Buzzmachine) It appears that Al Franken has changed careers again. He’s now doing Performance Satire: ”Wise-cracking funnyman Al Franken yesterday body-slammed a demonstrator to the ground after the man tried to shout down Gov. Howard Dean.”

”’I got down low and took his legs out,’ said Franken afterwards.”

”Franken said he’s not backing Dean but merely wanted to protect the right of people to speak freely. ’I would have done it if he was a Dean supporter at a Kerry rally,’ he said.”

”The trouble started when several supporters of fringe presidential candidate Lyndon Larouche began shouting accusations at Dean. Franken emerged from the crowd and charged one male protester, grabbing him with a bear hug from behind and slamming him onto the floor.”

”’I was a wrestler so I used a wrestling move,’ Franken said.”

Gosh, I guess it’s a good thing he wasn’t a sport shooter. ”I’m good with a shotgun, so I blew his head off.” Al, there are some places, and some situations, where your various physical skills may not be an appropriate response. You’re supposedly known for verbal skills. Were they not up to the task yesterday?

When Franken did stand up comedy, did he rush into the audience to body-slam hecklers? Or did he slice them to shreds with his wit? What would Stuart Smalley say? ”I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, I know some wrestling moves, and doggoneit, people bought my book! So I body slammed him. And that’s … OK.”

All Franken has done is get himself locked into a lawsuit. He’s going to have to listen to the guy he wanted to shut up (or his lawyers) for months, as any fool with half a brain would sue his relatively deep pockets after such a public attack.

How can someone body-slam a person so hard they break their own glasses, in order to shut them up, and then claim they were defending free speech? Apparently, it takes a professional: ”I’m neutral in this race but I’m for freedom of speech, which means people should be able to assemble and speak without being shouted down.”

Or being taken down with a wrestling move. Franken may call it defending freedom of speech. The Georgia Code calls it ”assault and battery.” I’m betting it’s the same in New Hampshire, even the day before the primary.

Were I running a Democratic campaign, I’d be telling Al Franken in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t welcome at any future events. Take your Performance Satire somewhere else.