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Wed. Jun 18, 2003

A New Day, A New Bozo

A New Day, A New Bozo – Talk about “saved by the bell.” The well deserved mocking of Bill O’Reilly will be cut short due to a shining new entrant in the Idiotic Emissions contest.

“During a discussion on methods to frustrate computer users who illegally exchange music and movie files over the Internet, [Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah] asked technology executives about ways to damage computers involved in such file trading [...] He said damaging someone’s computer ‘may be the only way you can teach somebody about copyrights.’ ”

“The senator acknowledged Congress would have to enact an exemption for copyright owners from liability for damaging computers. He endorsed technology that would twice warn a computer user about illegal online behavior, ‘then destroy their computer.’ ”

Even the RIAA will admit, I have a right to an electronic copy of music I’ve purchased in another form (CD, tape). Well, I’ve got about 1,000 albums (round, black, made of vinyl) from 1975-1985, but no way to convert them to digital form. If I find a few songs I already own in vinyl form, and download them online, how will Senator Hatch know that I’m downloading music I already own? The answer; he won’t. His proposal would destroy my computer for legal activities involving music I’ve already purchased.

“ ‘If we can find some way to do this without destroying their machines, we’d be interested in hearing about that,’ Hatch said. ‘If that’s the only way, then I’m all for destroying their machines. If you have a few hundred thousand of those, I think people would realize’ the seriousness of their actions, he said. ‘There’s no excuse for anyone violating copyright laws,’ Hatch said.”

There’s no excuse for drunk driving, either. But we don’t destroy the cars of those who are convicted. If you illegally access cable TV, and they find out about it, can they come into your home and smash your TV set? If you jaywalk, can they set your shoes on fire?

Of course, all these things are normally criminal acts and would require some sort of … special Congressional exemption. You’d think, surely they’d never make the destruction of private property a punishment, but Sen. Hatch appears willing to give the RIAA an exemption on that concept.

But then there’s that pesky 4th Amendment: “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated…” yadda, yadda, yadda.

A mere technicality, to Sen. Hatch.

While it’s an incredibly stupid thing to propose, that’s the business Hatch is in. But one would think the RIAA would follow this process to its conclusion; music customers watching recording companies destroying the computers of Americans.

You’d think they would have a clue the impact it would have on their business to be seen as launching physical attacks on their customer base, causing thousands of dollars of damage per attack. You’d think they’d understand it would cause a crash in sales that would make the current 10% drop off seem like “the good ol’ days.” You’d think they’d be able to predict the CD burning parties that would be organized, the artists who would refuse to fulfill their contracts, and the other ways their business would bleed out.

Be careful what you wish for.

Later: Check this roundup of reaction, where you’ll find gems like this one from Tech Law Advisor: “I’m interested in cutting off the hand of every politician who accepts illegal campaign contributions. Hundreds of congressman wandering about Capitol Hill without a hand will teach them about campaign finance laws.”

Even Later: This explains a lot (love the pix with Barry Manilow and Donny Osmond).