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Wed. Nov 13, 2002

Elvis bin Laden: The Comeback

We’ve wondered and questioned and puzzled and pondered, and then wondered some more. For 11 months now, we’ve asked ourselves, has Elvis bin Laden left the building for good, or just become a total recluse so people won’t see he’s gotten really fat?

Now he’s back, pointing out the mistake the Bush administration made by placing such focus on one man, pointing out the errors we made in the Last Mile, in essence, pointing out our failures in the War on Terror. But he also points out our successes. And their own misjudgements.

I’d say the fact he’s been silent for so long is a success in itself, revealed further by the medium of the message. No video for Osama these days. That might show us how he looks today (surely not the same appearance as in his last video last December), and he’s a man on the run who can’t afford that. He’s no longer the ruler of a cushy little fiefdom where he could move about as he pleased, surrounded by the ultimate Yes Men. Today, any orders, wishes, or messages of any type must be filtered through several layers of middlemen so that they can’t be traced back to bin Laden’s location. And every Yes Man must be viewed as a potential traitor, if bin Laden wants to remain a “free” man.

Though much is to be made of the fact he’s eluded capture, what kind of “freedom” must this man currently enjoy, especially compared to before 9-11? Imagine if you’d been on the run for 14 months after being King of All He Surveyed for many years, all while watching your compadres, lieutenants, and maybe even your own son be grabbed up or taken out by the US. Meanwhile, you’d managed to set off a few Black Cat firecrackers, and maybe one M-80, but nothing like the display of roman candles that lit up the sky on 9-11. The biggest explosions he’s seen since then have been from Daisy Cutters.

But given his history of making such strident statements in the weeks leading up to an Al Qaeda attack, this message may be a preface to another attempt at a Big Strike.

"May God’s peace be upon those who follow the right path. The road to safety begins by ending the aggression." Of course, that’s a one way street in Osama’s view. He vows no end to Al Qaeda’s “aggression,” in fact, he details the widening of targets: "What do your governments want from their alliance with America in attacking us in Afghanistan? I mention in particular Britain, France, Italy, Canada, Germany and Australia. We warned Australia before not to join in [the war] in Afghanistan, and [against] its despicable effort to separate East Timor. It ignored the warning until it woke up to the sounds of explosions in Bali."

He is saying that “the world” (i.e., everyone but the US and Israel) should have simply accepted Al Qaeda’s attacks on US targets, as well as the fact their own citizens were killed indiscriminately along with everyone else in the Trade Center. Nations other than the US were apparently supposed to cower in fear that they would be next, do nothing to help the US, and enjoy the brief respite Al Qaeda might give them … until they did something else to offend them. Like exist.

The nations that rightly saw 9-11 as an unprecedented attack on all of Western Civilization by terrorists now have further evidence they were right. I feel certain that none of the 3,000 people who were murdered that day had ever killed or bombed a Muslim. Yet Osama says, "You will be killed just as you kill, and will be bombed just as you bomb."

No, they will kill indiscriminately, ending the lives of those who’ve never taken a life. They will do it both through the shotgun approach of killing Brits, Germans, Pakistanis, and Egyptians by attacking a huge civilian target in the US, and via sheer stupidity, like the attacks in Bali that they thought targeted Americans in nightclubs, when it was actually mostly Australians. I guess we whitish infidels “all look alike.”

"And expect more that will further distress you."

Likewise, I’m sure.

For example, whatever attack Al Qaeda has planned, it will likely make the same mistake they did the first time around: "We seem mostly concerned that the next attack will be an escalation, but that ignores a Fact of War: if you’re going to sucker punch your opponent, you’d better make sure he can’t get back up. At the very least, you’d better make sure it’s your very best punch, the most incapacitating you can muster, as they will surely come after you if/when they get back up."

Oh, we got back up, alright. They misjudged us then, as I don’t think they had a clue we would react in the manner we did. Every shred of evidence we’d given them for a decade said we’d just launch some precision munitions, or bomb for a few days, and then go back to our soft ways.

But that was their One Shining Moment to really take us out with their best punch. We were totally unguarded and unprepared, the perfect target for a huge sucker punch. Today, it’s a different world. And if Al Qaeda makes the mistake of launching attacks against "Britain, France, Italy, Canada, Germany and Australia," instead of trying to fracture any such alliance, they will drive them together. “Unilateral preemptive action” will become a popular concept worldwide, as applied to Al Qaeda.

Escalation is a strategy that just won’t work against the US. No matter what they do to us next, they face a resolve they still do not comprehend (nor does much of the world, in my opinion). No matter the damage, we will match their words: "You will be killed just as you kill, and will be bombed just as you bomb."

Go ahead, do your worst. It will never beat our best.