Tue. Jul 31, 2001
Make It Stop!!!
Make It Stop!!! – It must be confusing growing up as a kid these days. Used to be, you could depend on certain things. The sky is blue. Ketchup is red.
No, that was too simple to survive in the Land of Branding and Marketing. First it was green ketchup. And we let them get away with it, when we should have squashed them on the beach. Now with a toehold, they’ve gotten bolder. I already pointed out the Blasphemer Red Mountain Dew. Now, there’s purple ketchup. And Yellow Diet Coke (well, it’s got lemon in it).
I’m glad I’m all grown up and set in my ways as a Certified Curmudgeon. Hopefully it will prepare me for the coming shock of teal grits. Down here in the South, that one’s gonna take some folks out.
Published 07:25PM, Tue, Jul 31 2001
Category: Advertising
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Peanut Gallery
You are far too tolerant, Noah. You'll never make it to Certified Curmudgeon that way. Changing a pewrfectly good product for the sake of marketing is Evil.
But that's my point! They've been changed for the sake of marketing all along - the colours we know and love them with have always been profit-driven manipulations at heart. Yea, verily, there is nothing new under the sun. How much more curmudgeonly than that can you get? ;)



Heh... surely you know that those products really aren't those colours in the first place (or, at least, not those appealingly vibrant versions of those colours). They've been artificially coloured all along. I don't know what colours ketchup, coke, and mountain dew really are, but I'm willing to bet they don't look the way they do without a little chemical help. So if it floats some people's boat to have their foods in different colours (and I tried green ketchup once - tasted exactly the same, but was just too psychologically unnerving) - well, it's just a different coat of the same artificiality.